Dating can be confusing for men. Should you focus on showing you’re a nice guy or aim to come across as and macho and strong?

Dating guides might encourage you to impress her with grand romantic gestures and unbounded admiration, but we know what women really want when dating, and it might surprise you! Here are the top four surprising traits which impress women when dating.

1. No grand gestures (just the smaller ones will do)

When we think of romance it can often conjure up images of grand gestures which will sweep a woman off her feet. While a giant bouquet of roses or an unexpected weekend in Paris are not to be sniffed at, you cannot buy a woman’s affection - it is the smaller gestures which will lead to approval.

Holding a door open for the person you are dating (in the right circumstances) shows good manners without being over the top. Try to emphasise your respect without making too much of a fuss – she will notice the little things and you will be able to keep up this behaviour over time (while too many mini-breaks could leave you bankrupt!)

2. An element of challenge

A lot of very good men fall down unnecessarily here with dating. Women love to be looked after to some extent, but don’t really need to have their every whim catered to by a man who quite obviously adores them from day one.

While treating a woman well is one thing, being an absolute pushover is never all that attractive, and this is the reason many ‘nice guys’ aren’t the ones who are the luckiest when it comes to dating. There is an element of ‘the thrill of the chase’ for both sexes, so bear this in mind and try not to put the woman you are dating on a pedestal straight away – let her impress you, too!

3. A stubborn streak

The woman you are dating might give the impression she wants you to change, but let her wrap you around her little finger and you could discover, changes made, that she’s lost interest after all. This is because most women, deep down, are a lot happier knowing their partner is a strong man who can speak up for himself.

If she does ask you to change, be very wary of doing it. That is, unless it’s a change you wanted to make anyway (like stopping smoking! That’s always a good idea). Try to stay true to yourself, while looking after her needs where you can, and she’ll respect you more for it.

4. Being unavailable

This does not equate to not calling back – that’s just rude! But a certain amount of unavailability can make for a longer lasting relationship. She might think she wants you to be around all the time but a little time apart can do wonders to keep the spark going between you.

If you aim to keep up your usual activities, such as meeting your friends and family or spending time on your hobbies, this should give enough down-time to your relationship to keep it burning hot when you’re together.

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Whether the other person is interested or not, you'll never know unless you ask. So gather up all your courage and follow these steps.

Instructions

• STEP 1: Introduce yourself to that person you've been admiring from afar.
• STEP 2: Get the person's telephone number, or tell a common friend you would like the number.
• STEP 3: Call. Choose a time that is not intrusive. Call when you are comfortable doing so, regardless of what your friends might say about the right time to call.
• STEP 4: Reintroduce yourself once you're on the phone by saying something like, "Hey, it's Shirley. We met at the drag strip."
• STEP 5: Using as little pretense as possible (ideally none), ask the person if he or she would like to get together for a cup of coffee or do something similarly casual. If you are politely refused, take the hint and get off the phone.
• STEP 6: Meet casually for a brief time - half an hour or so. If that goes well, suggest a more formal date, such as lunch.
• STEP 7: Go on the more formal date.

Tips & Warnings

• Besides getting a cup of coffee, some of the best ideas for a date are the things you love to do the most, such as going to an art museum or getting muddy on a mountain bike ride. This gives the other person a chance to get to know more about your personality.
• Humor is often the best remedy for rejection. Congratulate yourself for trying and move on.
• Going to see a movie is not a very good idea for a date; it shows a lack of creativity and does not allow the two of you to spend much time talking.

She says she's not ready for a relationship.

Ah, the classic escape route; women often use this one when they feel cornered by someone they are not interested in. It's clean, requires no preparation and leaves no room for a counterargument. But if a woman says this to you, what she really means is that she does not want to be in a relationship with you. For whatever reason, she doesn't see you as relationship material for her, so don't stick around hoping she will be ready someday. She might get into a relationship eventually, but it probably won't be with you.

You're always the one calling her and/or she doesn't return your phone calls.

Watch out, she may be avoiding you; and if she's not avoiding you, you are not on her mind and she simply forgot. Either way, this means that she has less invested than you and doesn't care enough to actively seek out your company.

Here's a rule of thumb: If she doesn't return your first call, call a second time, as she may be playing hard to get. If she doesn't return your second call, you can rightly conclude that she's not into you. (Do allow a certain amount of leeway on this point; women have been told by umpteen dating books to let the man do the pursuing. She should be calling you at least once for every three times you call her.)

She avoids eye contact and physical proximity.

This is an obvious sign that many men overlook. If she is attracted to you, she will naturally want to be close to you and make eye contact. If she is evading your gaze, however, she may be consciously trying to avoid leading you on and having to turn down your advances later. It'sa sneaky little trick, but it usually works. Take it as a sign that you're not her type. If she keeps you at arm's length at all times, she may also be protecting her personal space, so make sure you don't get too close.

She mentions other guys she finds attractive.

No, she's probably not trying to make you jealous (unless we are dealing with an ex-girlfriend, a situation that belongs in another category altogether). Most likely, though, you are in the "friend zone," which means that you are just like one of her girlfriends that she shares her thoughts with. Ergo, it has never even crossed her mind to date you. Not good.

She tries to set you up with another woman.

She might do this because, like in signal No. 4, it never crossed her mind to date you. Alternatively, she might do this because she likes you as a friend but wants to make certain you don't hit on her. Either way, the message is clear: She definitely doesn't want you for herself.

She doesn't laugh at your jokes.

If she is consistently stone-faced when you crack jokes, then you can conclude two important things. First, she doesn't find your sense of humor engaging, and second, she doesn't like you enough to bother to pretend otherwise. Here's a shocker: Whether or not she laughs at your jokes doesn't necessarily have to do with whether or not she finds them funny. Laughing is a form of flirting, and if she isn't doing it, you can be pretty sure her mind isn't on you.

She is always vague about making plans.

If she really wants to see you, she'll make firm plans. If she doesn't want to see you, or doesn't care one way or another, you can be pretty sure that she's not into you. If she is vague about making plans, it probably means that she is neutral about being in your company, or even worse, that she doesn't want to commit in case something better comes up. Ouch.

She regularly cancels plans with you.

Let me break it to you gently: You are the fall guy, the "just in case she doesn't have anything better to do" guy. It is certainly fair to cancel plans occasionally for a legitimate reason, but if she bails consistently, ditch her, even as a friend. If she does this, it not only shows that she's not interested, but that she holds little respect for you at all. Move on, and do it quickly.

Her description of the perfect man sounds nothing like you.

She tells you she wants a Mediterranean man who can dance salsa. You are Swedish and can only square dance. I know; women rarely stick to what they say are the perfect traits they are looking for in a man. And indeed, she may actually end up with a square-dancing Swede, but in all likelihood, it won't be with you. Take this as a kind hint on her part that you, for whatever reason, are not her perfect man.

If she exhibits one of the above signs, it doesn't bode well for your cause. If she exhibits two to three of these signs, you can be pretty certain that she's not interested. If you are noticing more than three of the above signs, listen carefully, because it's never going to happen.

I know from experience that an unreciprocated crush can be a big blow to one's self-esteem. So do yourself a favor and don't prolong the inevitable. If, after reading the above list, you can gather that she isn't going to respond to your advances, put yourself out of your misery -- just cut your losses and move on. Repeat this mantra to yourself until it sticks: She's just not into you.

Many people struggle in the dating scene. You may feel that you're doing everything you can to meet that special someone, but bad luck is keeping you from achieving what you want. Perhaps it is your assumptions about love and the opposite sex that's really stopping you.

There are many myths regarding romance and if you find yourself out of options, it might be time to do some myth busting.

I am entitled to love

Do you feel you should have succeeded by now? Are you approaching dating with a sense of entitlement? Then you might be going at it with the wrong attitude and unknowingly ruining your own chances. Nobody is entitled to happiness, it is something that requires hard work.

If you believe that you deserve a certain outcome you are less likely to go after it and assume it will simply come to you. Unfortunately, that is not how the world functions. Some are lucky enough to find the woman or man of their dreams in high school. You have to accept that you are not one of those people.

Once you have, announce your positive attitude to the world at large in subtle ways. Show that you're comfortable with your current situation by understanding that you will not necessarily follow a preset time line. Have patience with yourself and those you wish to date; nothing is as attractive as someone who seems content with their life and comfortable in their own skin.

Fate will make it happen

Some tend to believe that they will meet Mr. or Mrs. Right by chance simply because they are destined to be together. If you are one of them, you need to reconsider your point of view: It is unrealistic.

Think about the couples you know. How did they meet? A majority of the people in the world find their loved one at work, in their home town or at school. Fate doesn't usually come into it; availability and common ground does.

Fate may bring two people together. However it will not make you seem interesting or ask the other person on a date for you.

It has to be love at first sight

You may accept that relying on fate or destiny to arrange your dates is a bit too idealistic, but you're still clinging on to the idea of whirlwind romances and love at first sight. If you have refused a second date with someone because the spark wasn't there, this may apply to you. Maybe you have set your expectations too high.

Dates can't always be perfect, relationships never will be and people shouldn't be. Some couples end up living happily ever after, simply because they gave each other that all important second or third chance.

The traditions should be kept alive

Some men get uncomfortable when a woman approaches them romantically and some women believe men should always make the first move. Both of these groups may be losing out on many potential partners for absolutely no good reason.

Women tend to worry about what image they are portraying if they actively go after what they want, but most men will find it flattering and intriguing if they are asked out. Those men who don't, are not right for you anyway.

In other words, get with the times and realize that both sexes may initiate contact.

I am too shy

It might be hard for you to initiate conversations with strangers or you feel anxious around large groups of people. While it might seem harder for you than for those blessed with a forward and outgoing personality, there are plenty of reserved people who have found love. There is no reason why you should be the exception.

If the thought of walking over to a stranger just to chat with them seems too daunting, there are other ways to go about it. Smiling is always attractive and within reach for most; it might get them interested. Asking a friend to introduce you and to help you spark some conversation is another option. If you are more comfortable when communicating online, you can sign up for a dating service or just actively participate on forums and in chat rooms.

The key is to not let your shyness stop you, but rather work around it.

All men are idiots and all women are difficult

Do you feel that if you meet a friendly, easy-going girl, she must be a rare exception? Do you think that because your last relationship was a failure, you are likely to experience the same again? If so, you are probably judging to soon and coming off as hostile to those around you.

Bitterness is not attractive and will most likely repel any approaches from the opposite sex faster than you can say: “My ex was really bitchy”. Women are not a group consisting of similar personalities, neither are men. If you continuously make bad choices in regards to partners, you may want to look at the type you are attracted to. Judging 2,5 billion people is not the answer. Open your mind and focus on being approachable and easy-going, as well as concentrating on the positive personality traits of those around you.

I am just unfortunate

Do you sometimes feel that you just have bad luck when it comes to romance and love? Did you know that those people who are viewed as lucky, are usually those who make sure to be at the right place at the right time?

Life is in many ways about creating opportunities for yourself. The bigger your pool of potential partners is, the bigger chance you have of finding the one who is right for you. So get out there! Go to social events, take up popular hobbies and show yourself off. Perhaps your luck will turn?

You met her, you talked to her, you got her number and, so far, everything is going great. But now comes that awkward point, …

How To Ask A Girl Out For Date

If it is a girl you are really interested in your mind might be filled with doubts and insecurities :

• What if she says no ?
• Am I trying to move too fast ?
• Maybe she thought we were just friends and she will be offended if I ask.

All of these fears, although natural and common, are dumb. If you want a date with this girl you have the right to ask her out. Don't allow your life to be ruled by doubt and insecurity.

What are the best ways to ask a girl out ?

There are several cheesy techniques you can use to lower your chances of rejection (such as making a bet with a girl and the loser has to make them dinner) but these kinds of games are unnecessary. If you are straightforward, and don't beat around the bush about what you want, a girl will respect and admire your confidence.

Optimally, you would ask her in a face-to-face setting. However, if that is not possible, either because the opportunity won't present itself or because you aren't confident enough, your best alternative would be over the phone.

Avoid, at all costs, asking through email or any other written medium (Instant Messenger, a note, etc.). Not only do these methods scream "CHICKEN!" they also leave behind a paper trail that may or may not come back to haunt you.

One way to avoid looking like an idiot is to have something in mind to say for these three possible reactions to your question so you won't be caught off guard:

If she says "yes"

Have a plan in mind; know your schedule and have an idea to suggest.

If she says "no"

Don't act shocked or offended. Just be like, "Alright." Then carry on the conversation as if you never asked. Be friendly and polite. Too often guys take a "no" personally and get ticked off. Girls don't admire or respect a negative reaction. The fact that you were able to brush off her rejection so easily may actually raise her interest.

If she says "some other time"

Have a plan B in case she is busy. If she still acts like she has too much to do it's probably because she's not interested and doesn't want to hurt your feelings. Accept it as a rejection and move on.

Of course, you go into it expecting her to say "yes" but it's, as with most things in life, it's important to be prepared for the worst.
Tips on how to ask a girl out

The real key to getting women to say "yes" when you ask for the date is to make sure that they are attracted to you.

If a woman is attracted to you then why wouldn't she want to go out on a date with you ? It makes sense but most guys don't think of it that way... they miss the point and focus on "how to ask" rather than focusing on raising her attraction.

Rejection is an inevitable part of life and we all experience it in some form or the other. If you handle potential and actual rejection well, you have an advantage in the dating scene. The trick is to forestall turn downs and handle it gracefully should it happen despite your best efforts.

Location, location, location...

If you hunt for dates in a crowded bar or on the dance floor the odds are against you. Most women are cautious and prepared to be sufficiently unapproachable when they visit a typical dating scene. If you want to avoid rejection you should rather make use of every day places, such as the bus stop, the coffee shop or the grocery store. People tend to find it more flattering if they are hit on in less common places.

Pick your target.

If you repeatedly attempt to pick up the most physical attractive partner possible, you are probably destroying your own success rate. You need a great variation of dates to get practice. That way you can find out what you are really looking for and perfect the art of dating while you are at it. Who knows, maybe you will even realize that “beautiful” does not equal “most fun”?

Be sincere.

Women like to feel special and they love compliments. However, they will quickly pick up on it if you are not being truthful. Avoid pick-up lines and standard phrases. Instead aim for being personable and charming. You may want to comment on someone's nice dress, beautiful hair or even sexy walk. Just make sure you come off as both sincere and polite.

Be cool.

It can be a daunting task to strike up a conversation with a stranger. Nevertheless, confidence sells, so aim for appearing calm and collected. Breathe with your stomach, put on your best smile and go for it. After all, what's the worst that can happen?

Expect the worst.

If you are planning on putting yourself out there, you will be rejected a few times. The more opportunities you create, the more chance you have of finding a good partner. Prepare yourself for a few let downs before you hit the jackpot. Your success rate is likely to increase with practice.

Don't take it personally.

Ever heard of getting right back on the horse? You need to apply this saying to your dating life. The most successful daters shrug of rejection with ease and move on. There is no reason to dwell on a negative response to your advances, just go for someone else instead.

Leave a good impression.

You should aim for leaving a good impression regardless of how and by who you were turned down. Upholding a polite and civil image can only benefit you. Those who experience your response to rejection will think highly of you and you will probably feel better about yourself afterwards.

It’s not about how much you spend or what you buy. As the old adage goes – it’s the thought that counts. Give of yourself and you will give her/him all she needs. Best of luck to both of you.

Here is a checklist to use when selecting gifts, to be sure you are putting the recipient's likes, and not my own, into the selection process. When shopping for a gift, ask yourself the following:

1. Why am I giving it?
2. Is it sincere?
3. Am I giving it without strings attached?
4. Does it reflect the receiver's taste, not mine?
5. Is it too extravagant?
6. Is it kind? (Don't give gag gifts.)
7. Is it appropriate? ( no candy for a dieter.)
8. Can I present it in person?
9. Is it presented beautifully?
10. Do I feel good about giving it?

Research your recipients interests.

The whole point of gift giving is to show that you care, so if it's obvious that you haven't put any thought into the gift at all, there's no point in giving it.  "So how do I find out what my boyfriend/girlfriend/fiancée wants/would appreciate?" Listen to your love. The next time you are watching TV together, make a note of all the things he/she gets excited about during commercials, reads the newspaper, especially newspaper or magazine ads. Pay attention when you are window-shopping together, or even when you're just chatting. People are always unconsciously rambling about stuff they want, and if you make it a point to listen closely, your job of finding out what he/she would like will be greatly simplified. You can also ask a friend or relative that knows them well.

What are appropriate gifts based on the length of time you have been dating someone?

That depends, not just on the length of time, but the serious nature of your relationship. Here is an example list of appropriate gifts for Christmas or Birthdays:

Dating 1 month to 3 months

: Keep it light. This is not the time to spend a fortune on your new honey. That might just scare them off. Keep it simple and under $100.00, and think about the person. Try to show a sense of humor with your choices; finding something related to how you met can add sentiment to a relationship that's just getting started. Simple gifts like books, CDs, and videotapes are good ways to show off your interests and what you have in common. Items that reflect their interests, hobbies and places they like to travel.

• A small basket filled with spa/bath goodies, CD's, books, or high quality candles.
• Coffee Table books: Books on wine, art, place that the person likes to travel to.
• Items that reflect interests of the other person. Example: High quality Christmas ornament that reflects the interest. (ie, fishing, deer hunting, golfing, skiing).
• Champagne flutes and a bottle of good quality champagne
• Stuffed animal
• Team logo sweatshirt, golf shirt from a resort or country club
• Godiva chocolates-flowers or roses
• Picnic Basket
• Hammock for two
• Cigars (for a boyfriend)
• Collectable ornaments, dolls, and other collectable items that the person has an interest in. Keep it small and inexpensive.
• Elegant scarf (female), tie (male)
• Sweet-smelling body gel soap, after-bath splash, bubble bath, perfume, cologne, lavender water, rosewater, handmade glycerin soap, French vanilla or lavender potpourri or candles
• Perfume atomizer
• Wicker basket filled with tablecloth, wine, and picnic lunch

3-6 months : Items can be more romantic and personal:

• Their favorite perfume/cologne
• Jewelry box
• A light trinket. Nothing with gemstones or very few/small ones. Small necklace or bracelet 
• Trendy sports watch, sports related items like designer ski googles or gloves
• Designer sweater
• Hhockey skates or roller blades
• A framed piece of art, or piece of museum-reproduction jewelry, can be one of the more romantic and memorable gifts for a couple. 
• Massage by a professional masseuse
• Crystal or porcelain clock 
• Tickets to a concert by the recipient's favorite artist or band.

6-12 months:

If you are male, this is the point where gifts should be very romantic and have significance about your commitment and future.  Items should be very personal, can be more pricey, and reflect your feelings for your significant other, your commitment and your significant others personal interests:

• A meaningful trinket such as a romantic necklace or bracelet.  Keepsakes that are engraved with your love! 
• Elegant Jewelry with their favorite gemstones, birthstones or diamonds. (Keep engagements and engagement rings separate from the holidays or a birthday). 
• Elegant goldtone watch, designer sports/scuba watch
• Skis, designer ski wear
• Jewelry box
• Leather jacket
• Portable DVD player
• Cool gadgets that you would find in Sharper Image...except for personal care appliances
• Fishing/Hunting, Scuba or Golf Gear
• Camera (digital, panorama or other specialty), binoculars, telescope
• Weekend/week long getaway to Paris, London, Toronto, San Francisco, Vail, Aspen...or somewhere else romantic and exciting.
  

What should you NEVER give for a gift? 

• Coffee Maker
• Waffle maker
• Any kitchen or hair care, or personal care type appliance
• Clothing for a female.  Most women are picky.
• Baskets filled with fruit, nuts, cheese, cakes, cookies, gourmet food, teas or coffees (Give these to clients, please!)
• Plants (save these for the office) or homemade artwork (unless you are a well known artist in demand)
• Gift Certificates (unless you are married) or coupons
• Anything sexual in nature
• Gag gifts. Joke gifts may get a laugh at the moment of giving, but can leave a sour aftertaste
  

Guys guide to giving flowers:

1-3 months: Bring a single rose occasionally to surprise your date, or have one delivered where you take your date for dinner.
3-12 months: Send a dozen red roses for a birthday. 
6-12 months: Senda dozen red roses to show your love or that you are "in love"                       

1 year anniversary: Send a dozen red roses to show her you remember the day you met and how important she is to you.

Always send roses when:

You were wrong, had to cancel a date or any major plans, no matter what the reason (no matter how long you have been dating with a signed card asking forgiveness and telling her you will make it up to her....and you better make it up to her).    

Gift Giving Decoder:

If She Gives...

If You Give: A tie
You're Saying: "Your beer-guzzling, frat boy charm has worn off. Please get a real job."

If You Give: Silk boxer shorts
You're Saying: "The less clothing I see you in, the better, stud."

If You Give: A weekend vacation for two
"I like you enough to spend every moment of the entire weekend with you alone. So if you were wondering if this is serious, it is." 

If You Give: A sports car modeling kit
You're Saying: "I know that deep down beneath that manly exterior lies a little boy who wants to play. I respect that."

If You Give: A shirt
You're Saying: "I like your style, but don't you think you'd look better in something like this?"

If You Give: Tickets to a hockey game 
You're Saying: "Take me to this game and help me learn more about your interests. Take a friend and lose me forever."

If You Give: A best-selling book
You're Saying: "I don't know you that well, but other people liked this, so why shouldn't you?"

If You Give: A handmade sweater
You're Saying: "I'm definite marriage material, if you like the Martha Stewart type." 

If You Give: A CD player.    You're saying: "This will look great in OUR living room sometime soon, don't you think?" 

If You Give: A Copy of "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" or any other self-help/relationship/psychology-type book.

You're saying:  "I'm about to break up with you so you might want to get started on the background reading. Later."

If He Gives... 

If He Gives: A necklace
He's Saying: "I really care about you and want you to think about me every time you wear this."

If He Gives: Lingerie
He's Saying: "I already think you're sexy, but I've fantasized about seeing you in something like this."

If He Gives: A Cuisinart
He's Saying: "I don't know how to tell you this, but I'm not attracted to you anymore."

If He Gives: A puppy
He's Saying: "I can already visualize the house, the picket fence and the children too."

If He Gives: A sweater
He's Saying: "I've got no imagination and I probably gave the same gift to my mother."

If He Gives: A weekend vacation for two
He's Saying: "I want 48 hours of uninterrupted sex."

If He Gives: A new perfume
He's Saying: "My ex-girlfriend wore what you wear now, so please try this."

If He Gives: A cellular phone 
He's Saying: "Either I'm genuinely concerned about your safety or I need to be able to reach you every second of every minute of every day."

If He Gives: A CD you've wanted for months
He's Saying: "I am a good listener and I've got a great memory." 

If He Gives: A poem
He's Saying: "I'm a romantic in love. And I'm broke."

Other Do's and Don'ts of Gift Giving:

DO give a book or a CD that you'll know he'll like towards the beginning of a relationship. These options show thoughtfulness, without getting too personal. 
DO drop hints about what you want before your birthday/anniversary/holidays hit. Either mention some items in passing or take your partner shopping and subtly point things out. 
DO fall back on leisure- and sports-related gifts towards the start of a tryst. These are safe standards. 

DON'T give sexy underwear or anything sex-related unless you are already sleeping together. 
DON'T write a mushy card or give any cutesy gifts unless the relationship is serious and stable. 
DON'T be afraid to get creative. Adding a personal touch to any gift makes it more unique. 

DON'T bother with garbage/gag gifts like chia pets,  pet rocks, etc.  They will just end up in the trash, after you are given the boot.
DON'T expect all men to be great gift givers. If your man happens to give you something that you hate, try to focus on his good points! Happy shopping, and good luck!

Other Tips for Holiday Gifts and Etiquette for any Parties/Social Functions:

Do bring a bottle of wine or a small box of chocolates to the host or hostess that has invited you to their party.

Do send a short note or email of thanks for the great time you had and for being invited to the party.

Do thank friends/colleagues with a short note or email of thanks for any present, no matter the size, or whether or not you like it.   It is the thought that counts.

Do go with reasonable expectations to parties.  Don't expect that you will be fixed up with someone just because the host/hostess wants to introduce you to someone.   People get into conversations with others and unfortunately, get hooked for a part of the party and may lose the interest in meeting whoever the host/hostess wants to fix them up with.    

Do make an effort to smile, put out your hand and say "hi, I am ....., nice to meet you."  Conversation starters can include:  How do you know the host/hostess?  What are you drinking...do you like it?  What kind of work do you do?   Go with the attitude that you are going to make friends with lots of people of both sexes.   The more new friends you make, the more people who you can hang out with and who will set you up to meet people after they get to know you.  Look for people with coming interests:  Volleyball, tennis, bowling, skiing, bible studies, etc.  Find out about new groups from people and try to finagle an initiation to go.

Don't go to a party if you are: 1. in a bad mood, frazzled from a long day or too tired, 2. expecting that you are going to meet the man/woman of your dreams,  3. really don't want to be there.

Don't go to a party empty handed.  Even if the hostess says bring nothing, bring a small box of chocolates or a bottle of wine.

Don't bring cheap items.   If the hostess is doing a potluck or a party where everyone does bring something, do not bring boxed wine, wine with screw tops, packaged off the shelf cookies.  Bring a bottle of wine that is unique that others will have a conversation about, make something unique from scratch or pick up a gourmet type appetizer or brie.  

The main reason she does not call you back is probably because you are doing something that doesn't agree with her. You may be coming at the whole relationship from the traditional or 'courtship' behavior, and this may be leading her to just drop you as soon a she can.

She has other men on hand who are ready to do many things for her and all she has to do is ask them. They will drive her around, fill her stomach, even buy her things and all they get in return is a kiss on the cheek or a hug in the hopes of something more.

And all of that is if she wants to keep you around as one of her boy girlfriends. You will be categorized just like all of her other friends like this if you are even so lucky. All of this is stemming from the wrong frame of relationship in the first place.

When you start courting her, she knows that she has the power especially because of the actions you do to buy her attention almost 'paying' to around her. If you are more of the wussy friend, then you may talk to her a lot and she'll tell you about all of the problems she's having with her 'jerk' boyfriends.

It is true you can have REAL friendships with these women with no ulterior motive other than friendship. This is healthy. These women are my equals and I have several of these relationships. I highly recommend..be a socially adept man.

'Courting her' is really boring to her and she will often just not return your calls even if you are a nice guy with a lot to offer; purely because of the relationship approach that you took.

Dating dynamics have changed in our modern society. Being really traditional and expecting a woman to be interested in you when you take this approach which used to work ( but remember times have changed), is full of all kinds of expectations and is often too much pressure for her to handle even if you are a great catch. This is really why millions of American women are dumping great guys every week.

On the other hand, if you are starting the frame of the relationship on a different level which may be more closer towards an accelerated mating process of attraction, there will be a lot less pressure when done correctly because the entire dynamics are naturally based and without heavy consequence.

When you take a woman out on a date she all of a sudden now senses she is obligated to do something in return because you have paid for her attention. Usually this is just letting you kiss her on the hand or a hug, and because she does not want to deal with all of the pressure of you following her around after she might decide to let you sleep with her. Her anxiety will build up as well as yours, but she isn't thinking about 'you'.

As in the movie Swingers, when Mikey gets a girl's number at the bar and then calls her immediately when he gets home, he is just oozing interest and a high level of expectation. This is a lot of pressure especially for a beautiful woman because she does not know if or when she will be able to get rid of you if she takes things further with you. This is the explanation of why most women will not call you back.

There are also other reasons why she finally just isn't interested in you any more due to her social persona or whatever. If you are in a 50-50 relationship she may resent that you have given her most of the power; this is how two of my American x-girlfriends have broken up with me; I let them just go ahead and have the power in the relationship with me just kind of going along with things (knowing I wasn't being myself and just keeping everything inside).

And this led to the relationship's demise. Usually sooner or later she will lose interest in you if she can not be naturally attracted to you or if the power shifts too much in her favor.

One of the main reason traditional relationships stay together is because a man is being a man and a woman is being a traditional woman. Because of the essential role reversal that is now pervasive in our society everything and everyone has gotten confused.

There is going to be drama in any type of long-term relationship with an independent and especially beautiful woman - guaranteed. The chance that she will give up a lot of her freedom and newfound rights to be more like her traditional and simpler counterpart throughout the rest of the world, is very slim despite her birthright desire still to raise children.

The inability for her to give up a lot of her freedoms and play her more biological role of just being a mother leads to nagging, the gene, griping that many American married men will tell you about (especially if they are divorced).

I do not want to give relationship advice for men in 50-50 relationships with women, because I do not deal with that kind of drama in my life. You will find that if you can just be a man and living your reality, you will attract women to you who will want to stay around you and will not have to question why she is not calling you because she will be calling you more often than you will be calling her.

This is really the way it is supposed to be. She is the one who is supposed to be hanging by you and that's what she wants to do despite what feminists say. Just look at women who are around men; they will often choose men who are not nice guys now and they will be calling them because 'there's something about them'. Women don't have to understand this but you do. You can give them those feelings by truly being yourself (on the universal understanding level).

If you can just be a natural or a man that creates attraction and desire within women, you will have them calling you a lot more often and you will not be wondering why no one ever calls. Hey I've gone through it in the past as well with American women.

It is his energy of essentially giving her the power and choice in the relationship which she ultimately resents it will not call you back for; in that sense some things have never changed. Women are still women beneath their hard edged socially developed exterior.

If you want to learn how to have women calling you, then make sure you check out my ultimate resource 'Mens Guide to Women'. If she can just be around a man who is 100% comfortable around her without letting her perceived socially acceptable appearance get in the way, she will be magnetically attracted to you.

There is a lot of leverage that is giving her this power that is already natural anyways. It is up to you to take advantage of this to give both you and her what you are looking for. This is the opposite of how Mikey reacted after he got back from the club.

In fact in a movie you will notice that his ex-girlfriend finally called him back when he officially let her go by taking the other call from his new girlfriend. This is not too far from the truth of reality.

Somehow women just know (as in the opening sequence of the movie). He was emotionally hanging on to her for too long, giving her the power in the relationship; this is not the biological order, he was being a wussy. When you really get things 'in order' women will be calling you and other women will start calling you all of a sudden (interesting..).

Never stay where you are not appreciated. This applies to all phases in life. Work, sports, your social life; but it especially applies when courting single women.

Bad Vibes

If a girl is not interested in you, then there is absolutely nothing you can
do is going to change it. Review the previous chapter and if none of the signs are present don't waste time with people who are not interested in you. Even if she looks like the girl of your dreams, it will lead nowhere and will leave you both physically and emotionally drained. 

By hanging around this girl, you will gain nothing. And worse, she will lose respect for you. At least if you leave with your head high and pride intact, it will leave her with the impression that maybe, just maybe, she missed out on a good thing.

Moving On

There are a few reliable indicators which can alert you if the relationship is going nowhere. Although by no means foolproof, taking note of these behavior patterns should enable you to bail out of the relationship before she dumps you. Think about it. Would you rather she dump you instead of you bravely accepting reality and moving on?

Signs Of Dislike

Firstly, She won't make herself available. Even though her excuses may sound valid, if she were interested, she would make time to see you. If arranging a date to get together becomes a struggle and you are the only one working on the initiating the dates, it might be time to leave. At this point, conversations will be awkward and forced, often ending with her making something up to get you off the line. After all, you are the only one trying to keep it going.

Conversations and the tone in her voice will be neutral. She might occasionally look away and seem bored, as if she would rather be someplace else. Not necessarily negative, but they will be absent of that up-beat positive mood that an interested girl gives.

The most important thing to consider is that most women don't want to hurt you in any way. So, if they are not interested, they will expect you to infer the fact that there is an absence of a "come on" in their manner. Many men will assume that since a girl hasn't come out and said "drop dead," then maybe she is interested. Do realize that this only applies to you if you have been out on at least five or more dates! If you have only just met her, there is absolutely no way you would know if she thinks you are a jerk and a waste of her time.

We all fear rejection and this is why some find it difficult to request a woman's phone number. Asking for it simply means: “I want to meet you again”. Should she say no, there will be other chances with other women. If she says yes, you have a lot to gain.

However, considering how and when you do it will improve your chance of success.

Wait for the right moment

Blurting out “Can I have your number?” at the start of a conversation will usually make you seem desperate. Make sure that before popping the question you have given her your full attention over a period of time, made her laugh and perhaps initiated some light-hearted flirting. After this, wait until one of two things happen:

• One of you have to leave.

• The topic of meeting again has been brought up by you or, better yet, her.

Appear confident

You are already past the worst part; you got her to talk to you. Chances are that by this point she will actually want to meet you again and all you have to do is utter the words. How can you appear more confident than you feel?

• Push your shoulders back and hold your head high.

• Keep eye contact.

• Smile!

Choose your wording

 

All women love to feel special and wanted, so how you word your question might be of great importance. You can also opt for not asking at all, but simply telling her to give it to you. Here's some ideas that you may wish to steal:

• “I have had such a great time talking to you. Will you give me your number?”

• “I really want to see you again. Please write down your number for me.”

• “You're really cool, we gotta do this again. Let's swap numbers.”

 

Leave something to be desired

 

Meeting a woman by chance and catching her interest can be compared to a first date. You want to leave her in anticipation and eager for more and keeping some things to yourself will be helpful. Maybe you have planned out the perfect date already and know that you will call her about it on Wednesday, but don't tell her. Uncertainty about what is going to happen will get her thinking about you.

 

Be honest!

 

Keep in mind that when a woman gives you her number she will feel just as vulnerable as you did when you asked for it. She is basically saying: “I really like you and hope that you will call me.” Don't collect phone numbers, only ask if you really wish to see her again and intend on calling within a reasonable amount of time.

 

Your sincerity will shine through and further increase your chances of success.

This is a survey taken from 500 women ages 25 through 45 years old, single and married. When a woman knows the pleasure of dancing in the arms of a man, it is next to impossible to settle for anything less, unless he has some incredibly exciting career in which they can experience unlimited financial freedom together or he is unbelievable in bed or both! Yes, it is true in the order of importance according to our survey. Dance, Financial Success then Sex. Of all the women surveyed not one said she did not enjoy dancing in the arms of a man. To top it off, if he knew how to dance really well then sex was the best she had ever experienced! All women agreed sex is best when both man and woman are in love! In fact 90% of the women said they could tell what kind of a lover a man would be by the way he danced with her and they could tell his level of sincerity towards her by observing the way he danced with other women. Either he is a player, shy, inhibited or uninhibited, aggressive or passive.

Women love a man who has a certain level of refinement. A man who is masculine but who also enjoys the arts as well. A man who is interested in becoming more than just his job. Seeking more out of life than just eat, sleep and work.

Music and dancing touches women in a very profound and unique way. It "Stirs the Soul" and can enable her to let the every day problems of life seem less significant and help unlock the playful and sensuous side of one's personality. What could be better than sharing that with a special man!

Women said that the old dinner and a movie routine for a date has become so boring. First of all standing in line on a Friday night with hundreds of strangers is not real fun after a long day at work or after driving the kids to and from school and soccer practice. Eating high calorie junk food and sitting for 1 1/2 hours in a dark theater without conversation is of course not helping the figure any and not what most women want to do on a date unless they are under 20 years old and have nothing to talk about. Women do like to get dressed up and looking their best when out on a date. Women love to be complimented by their date and on their appearance. After all, there is always something nice a man can say that is complimentary about a woman at any age.

The ultimate experience is dancing with a man and being romanced in a sincere way, getting to know that man on and off the dance floor and being courted where the sexual pressure is off! Eventually revealing deeper feelings for one another and it is mutual and then becoming intimate! This is the ultimate dance dream come true!

A smart man learns how to dance because he knows that is where all the women are, out dancing! A lucky man meets a fabulous woman while out dancing who loves him and admires him. A smart and lucky man recognizes a good woman when he finds her and continues to nourish the relationship with dance and romance!

10 qualities women look for in men (On and off the dance floor)

1. Good Leader on the dance floor who stays on the music.
2. Neat, clean appearance and well groomed.
3. Confident, self assured. Direct eye contact .
4. Stable career, financial security.
5. Sense of humor, quick witted, intelligent.
6. Well mannered i.e.; opens the door, introduces you to his friends, good table manners etc.
7. Physically fit, keeping weight under control.
8. Interested in what you have to say, a good listener.
9. Good in bed.
10. Nice looking.
    

Of all the women surveyed, all enjoyed compliments on their appearance, dancing ability, intelligence and cooking abilities. Of course only if they do know how to cook. Women also said they knew if a man was giving insincere flattery, it is like a sixth sense women have. So men beware, only sincere flattery please!

10 qualities women do not like in men

1. Men who can't lead and blame it on the woman.
2. Bad breath or body odor.
3. Cheap cologne.
4. Cocky attitude, think they are "God's gift" to women.
5. Lewd conduct on and off the dance floor.
6. Men who wear clothing that went out of style 10-20 years ago.
7. Cheap toupees. Invest in an expensive one or just go au' natural.
8. Smokers and heavy drinkers.
9. Unemployed loser types. They can dance but don't have a job, house, or money.
10. Dumb Guys.

95 % of the women said they would put up with all the negative qualities (with exception to numbers 2, 5, and 8) if the man was a very good dancer.

If men only knew what a powerful aphrodisiac dancing is for women, every man in the world would learn how. Up until now it has been the best kept secret on the dating scene. Try it and see for yourself.

Where do I start? How do I learn how to Dance?

1. Look in your local Yellow Pages under Dance Instruction. Swing, Ballroom, Country or Latin.
2. Subscribe to a Dance Magazine ie; Swing, Latin, Country, Ballroom.
3. Ask around, word of mouth is the best! You would be surprised how many people you know take Partner Dance Lessons.
4. Choose a program that is Fun and Supportive with a qualified instructor who has an excellent reputation, experience and will allow you to observe a group lesson!

To attract women takes exposure. Where ever you are, to get a woman to like you and to spend time with you will take time and work getting to know one another. That is why most places where people meet are where men and women frequent automatically because they don't havea choice. Women have no choice about going to work. The work place is the number one area where people meet often. Everyone has to work. Even the most beautiful women have to make a living somehow. They go to work and they have to talk to the people that are there. At work you will encounter women as you carry on with the tasks of the day. This brings us to the number one spot to meet women:

1. At Work

Statistics show that some 70 percent of married people got together at work. The key ingredients are time, getting to know each other and similar interests. Women search for men with similar talents to their own and none of the flaws in what is called compatibility. We all have flaws, but we try to limit those by meeting a person with different flaws of our own. When it comes to aptitudes and natural talents women look for men similar to themselves. This insured the dissolution of bad genes and concentration of good genes. At the same work place people tend to have similarities in their abilities, especially when is comes to the same lines of work. Combined with time and the opportunity to get to thoroughly know one another, the right people automatically click together. That is why it's so important to work at something you are good at and really enjoy.

2. Church

Church is supposed to be a spiritual place and not a dating service and yet it's a known fact that a lot of people meet and get married through church. The kind of church to join is one with similar background to yourself as well as your faith. The more similar people are the more chances there are for compatibility. Even in one denomination there are different locations. Join the one with people the most similar to yourself. The more you like the people there the more you will be eager to help out and as a result you will get noticed.

3. School

Studies show that people build special emotional bonds at an early age. The girls you have met in high school, especially near the age of sixteen usually will have a special memory of you. People were not meant to get married and have kids as late as they do it today's day and age. In the old times, girls used to get pregnant in their teens. Nature equipped girls with a special imprinting during those early ears. Keep in touch with a girl you knew in high school. She probably has deeper feelings for you than you knew.

4. Friends

Needless to say, every group has their own spots they like to hang out at. It's different for every group of friends, but the facts are that a lot of people meet through a friend or a friend of a friend. It could be a buddies ex or a friend of your ex girlfriends friend, whatever the case. Most people consider it immoral to date your friends ex girlfriends, but look at it this way, statistically most people end up doing it anyway. Just don't hit on your friends current girlfriend or somebody that he is currently dating. Chances are she is more interested in him, and in this case jeopardizing the relationship is more than it's worth.

The way to get access to your buddies girls is to be facilitating with you own female friends. This does two things. It makes you popular with the ladies because they want to meet guys just as much as we want them. Second, it gets your buddy to be less possessive. When he's involved with someone, she's not going to like him being jealous over someone else. This is when all of his female contacts become fair game.

5. Sports Teams

Gym memberships are increasing world wide. However, it's not in the gym or the wait room where couples tend to meet. Instead consider joining a team that gets together once or twice a week on a regular basis. Good sports are volleyball, soccer and frisbee. These are usually stand alone organizations you just have to find them. The idea is that team sports set the tone for interaction. Also, body smell such as from sweating during physical activity helps females determine genetic compatibility from pheromones and Androstenone smell. To recap, yes most successful marriages do start off in the work place or from the high school years. However, with the right ingredients of time, compatibility and interaction other places could be an opportunity for meeting women as well.

6. Grocery Stores

As with work, everyone has to go to the grocery store or supermarket. Again, this includes even the most beautiful women. One advantage of supermarkets is that single men and women, as well as single parents, must shop there. Also, visits to the supermarket are likely to be very frequent, as frequent as for example going to church services. It is thus possible to meet and get to know men or women by regularly visiting your local supermarket. In the UK, Sainsbury's stores are particularly good for meeting potential partners.

So can you meet a woman just about anywhere? Successful pickups have happened at bars, clubs, coffee shops, mall, elevator you name it. It's not a question of getting a date. To find the right woman takes time with her and getting to know her. Meanwhile, all those other places are great practice.

It can be challenging to let your partner know you love them when the two of you have different basic personality types: misunderstandings can occur. Extroverts can feel introverts’ need for distance as rejection. Introverts can think extroverts are smothering or intrusive.

So here is a handy little checklist of five ways to love your favorite introvert. Oh, and for all of you who love extroverts, there’s one for you, too! Find out how to express your love to an introvert (or an extrovert) in a way that she or he will understand, here:

How to love an introvert

Attention

Show an awareness and loyalty that she will not interpret as scrutiny or intrusion.

Acceptance

Validate her need for distance without taking it as rejection.

Affection

Let her give the signal for closeness of any kind.

Appreciation

Express gratitude for and recognition of kindness, and a willingness to accommodate you.

Allowing

Respect her need to be alone until she asks for time together.

How to love an extrovert

Attention

Take frequent notice of and an active interest in what she is doing.

Acceptance

Show that you are on her side and at her side.

Affection

Be frequently demonstrative--physically and verbally--of your love.

Appreciation

Make frequent mention and on special occasions a special mention of your recognition.

Allowing

Join her and share in her interests in some way as often as possible

Some couples may disagree, but romantic love lasts little more than a year, Italian scientists believe.

The University of Pavia found a brain chemical was likely to be responsible for the first flush of love.

Researchers said raised levels of a protein was linked to feelings of euphoria and dependence experienced at the start of a relationship.

But after studying people in long and short relationships and single people, they found the levels receded in time.

The team analysed alterations in proteins known as neurotrophins in the bloodstreams of men and women aged 18 to 31, the Psychoneuroendocrinology journal reported.

They looked at 58 people who had recently started a relationship and compared the protein levels in the same number of people in long-term relationships and single people.

In those who had just started a relationship, levels of a protein called nerve growth factors, which causes tell-tale signs such as sweaty palms and the butterflies, were significantly higher.

Of the 39 people who were still in the same new relationship after a year, the levels of NGF had been reduced to normal levels.

Report co-author Piergluigi Politi said the findings did not mean people were no longer in love, just that it was not such an "acute love".

Stable

"The love became more stable. Romantic love seemed to have ended."

And he added the report suggested the change in love was down to NGF.

"Our current knowledge of the neurobiology of romantic love remains scanty.

"But it seems from this study biochemical mechanisms could be involved in the mood changes that occur from the early stage of love to when the relationship becomes more established."

However, he said further research was needed.

Dr Lance Workman, head of psychology at Bath Spa University, said: "Research has suggested that romantic love fades after a few years and becomes companionate love and it seems certain biological factors play a role.

"But while we are a pair-bonding species, there is some doubt over whether this is within monogamous relationships or not.

"Different societies have different practices and trends."

When guys first get into online dating they seem to all make the same mistakes. If you are not having much success with dating online then you will be making the same mistakes as other guys. Here are a few tips to help you have more success.

Keep your profile a suitable length

Do not have your profile too short. You need to say something about yourself to get the girls interested. They need to have something to talk to you about.

On the flip side, make sure that your profile is not too long; You are not trying to write a novel. Make sure you leave some parts out. You need some aspect of your life to stay mysterious.

Use flattering pictures that are accurate and up to date

Try not to use photos of when you were younger, or of someone else. Just use pictures that make you look your best but are not giving people the wrong idea. If you do not want to put pictures up, say why. Lying about pictures from the beginning is not a good look.

Keep your profile accurate

Make sure that your profile is correct and accurate. There is nothing that puts off a girl more than a guy who knows nothing about his favourite hobby.

Do not expect all the girls to reply

For every girl on a dating site, there are more than 5 guys. This means that some girls will just be too busy to reply to you. Do not take it personally and just move on.

Record conversation details

Keep notes on the conversations you have online. Girls tend to take it personally when you forget their birthday or they get a bad impression when you talk about the same item twice. Brief notes will just give you something to refer to when you are unsure.

Stay local

Try to avoid contacting girls that are more than a short drive away. Give the local girls a chance first as they are easier to meet offline.

Don't be dirty

Do not send rude pictures that show parts of you strangers do not want to see. Rude photos and messages will mean you have no chance.

Online dating does not work for everyone

People are different and different things will work for them. Make sure that you also try out other ways of meeting girls. Also, if you are looking for the type of girl who would rather be out doing something than be on the computer, you will not find her with online dating.

Get offline

Try to meet up with her offline as soon as possible. The longer you leave it the less likely you are to meet. Remember that people can be quite different when you meet them in person.

Be decisive

Girls like a guy who can make decisions and organise things. Make sure you have a time and place in mind before you raise the idea of meeting. Make a slight allowance for rescheduling, but do not let the girl push you around or keep putting it off.

Do not expect too much

Do not get your expectations too high on the first date when you have met online. You need to appear relaxed and calm.

Forget your dating past

Do not discuss any past partners or lack of partners as no good can come from it.

Have fun

Make sure you have fun. The most common attribute that girls look for in a guy is that they are fun.

Do not be afraid to stop replying for a while

If a girl is not responding, move on. When a girl starts to act weird or demanding, move on. If a girl does not turn up to a date, move on.

Do not be afraid to move on and stop replying. Sometimes it can be the best thing that you can do. Once a girl realises that she can lose her only chance with you, she will take more care and might reply.

Become the guy the girls want but can not have NOT the guy anybody can have but no one wants.

It can be a big surprise and a huge shock when you realise that your girlfriend has been cheating on you. Most guys are caught completely by surprise when they discover that their partner is involved in an extramarital affair. When guys are aware that their relationship is not satisfying, in trouble or if they can admit they suspect infidelity, the reality that their partner was cheating is usually too much to bear.

The thought of a girlfriend cheating can be painful and depressing, so most will overlook obvious signs of cheating. Once infidelity is recognised, nearly all people experience anger at their ignorance in not recognising the possible signs of a unfaithful partner.

When your relationship is not as strong as it has been in the past, and you do not feel your girlfriend values you as much as she once did, you should make the 10 signs of a cheating girlfriend familiar to you.

• She does not tell you all about her day and she seems more distant and closed off.

• Your girlfriend has a sudden renewed interest in her appearance such as new and different clothing, hairstyle or weightless.

• She starts to take up new interested that are out of character for her.

• Your girlfriend changes her schedule. She may start earlier, end later or have new requirements such as dinners and late meetings.

• She closes program windows on the computer as soon as your are near.

• Your girlfriend starts to leave the room to take calls from her cellphone.

• She starts to use or changes her use of perfume.

• Your girlfriend starts a new habit of showering when she comes home.

• She has recently become more argumentative or critical and has no obvious cause such as financial, work or her health.

• Your girlfriend provides abnormally vague reasons for being late.

• She becomes evasive when you ask about her where she was and what she did during the day.

Just one of these signs alone may be no cause for alarm, but more than 3 in a short period of time may indicate that she could be involved in an extramarital affair. This just means you should share any concerns with your partner and talk about what the relationship may be lacking. Relationships that are healthy, strong and satisfying will not be at risk from infidelity.

A lot of men have a problem with asking a normal woman out on a date, for fear that she'll refuse - but asking a shy girl out on a date? Depending on the guy, it could be easy or need some work.

All the information available about dating is usually to do with attractive women who can handle most men - but what about shy women? Lets get one thing clear here, from the start: don't assume she is not interested in men. That said, if you look around, you will realize that there are a lot of women out there who are smart, look great, but are shy. It could be that they have just been brought up that way. All you have to do is to make a door in that wall, and step in.

The first thing NOT to do is appear very overbearing to her. Instead, show her that you are a little vulnerable too and concentrate on striking up a good conversation. The date comes later. Try to understand her world, and draw her out, let her know you appreciate her.  You might well be surprised to find that she might probably share the same interests as you and once you get talking about that, there's a good chance she might get animated and open up.

See, you've got to remember that just because she's shy, most guys might have probably ignored her - and it might just be a matter of getting her to talk! Have coffee with her, be casual, and come across as a friend and let her see the person you really are. If she likes what she sees, chances are very good she will say yes when you ask her out on a date.

Before you do that, understand what makes her shy. Is she shy only when there are people around or when you are alone? Does she hesitate to talk about her personal life? Once you determine what makes her shy, you can help her out of it.

Drawing her out

She needs time to get talking, so be patient. You must have had a chance to understand her a little by now, so try to get along with the side of her that you know. Perhaps she has a good sense of humour hidden under her shyness. Let her know you enjoy it. Reassure in different ways that she's attractive to you without actually putting it in so many words. Praise her about her abilities and talents - and this will increase her comfort level.

Listening to her is one of the best ways to draw her out. And when we say listen, we mean listen, not just hear. Everyone is passionate about something, and find out what her love is. It is always easier to become comfortable talking about a hobby or interest instead of a conversation that involves personal information. She'll like the fact that you are an attentive listener, since it will reassure her that you genuinely care about what she has to say.  And once you have reached that comfort level, just ask her out on a date. She'll say yes.

Most men give women the impression that all they want is a physical relationship. In some instances this could be true. However, this can really put a woman off because it looks like he is expecting way too much too soon in the relationship. This is the best way to make the woman lose interest.

Now, the fact is, women do like a man who is quite casually friendly initially without revealing too much information about himself. There's something definitely interesting about not knowing what will come next, since it makes for a naturally spontaneous meeting. When he comes on too strong at times it can grate on the nerves of the woman.

The Approach

So how can he approach her? The classic coffee date never fails. The best way is, when he meets her, tells her that he finds her interesting and would like to get to know her better, and would she like to go out for a casual coffee. This is such an innocuous suggestion that she wont think of saying no. The reason is, she feels nice about his attention and sees no harm in having coffee in a public place. She's curious to know what comes next.

It definitely doesn't look like he's coming on to her for a relationship, since he didn't ask her out for dinner. Since there's an element of mystery about what sort of person he might turn out to be, she will be ready to meet him for that cup of coffee. The happy part is there don't seem any expectations in the relationship at this point, hence there's no tension associated with it.

Of course, that's not to say a casual coffee date wont lead to something more. But let me tell you, every thing else being mutually okay, he can be pretty sure that she wont find the 'something more' unwelcome. Moreover, the man must not attempt to kiss her or make any physical contact after the coffee date, unless she invites it.

The best part about a coffee date is that she will be relaxed and open to conversation. This sort of comfort, being together will definitely put her at ease in his company. If anything more is to develop in this relationship, a coffee date is the best starting point. Even if the guy feels strongly attracted to her, it is worth it to exercise control. Then it becomes that much easier to ask her if you can meet up again, maybe for a movie or a dinner date. If the two of them had a good time, she might be the one to suggest that they meet again.

Usually, a casual coffee date paves the way for a meaningful relationship, since there is the opportunity to spend time together. Women have a tendency to be a little slow when it concerns getting involved, unlike most men. So, the best thing for him to do is to match her pace. She'll be okay with having a coffee with him even if she's dating someone else. Point is, when things are easy and comfortable it is better to let them flow naturally.

The internet would have to be the most popular way to meet a partner these days. There are many different dating sites where you can basically pick "the one" for you. All you need to do is fill out a profile of yourself and then fill out a profile for the kind of woman you are trying to attract. Women will then search the site for men that fit the description that they have originally filled out when they signed up. If you have what they are looking for then they will send you a message and you can let your love blossom.

You can even do refined searches to look for women of a certain age, location, height etc. You can also search specifically for women that have pictures or a web cam. It is probably best to search for ladies with a webcam because then you are able to see what they really look like and to see if they have been lying in their profile. It is also fair that you have a webcam connected yourself to return the favor.

The internet is quite an effective way to meet partners which is why most single people are turning to it. It is safe, secure and more comfortable then having to spot them in a club and then find the guts to go up and speak to her. A few people out there still think that the internet is not safe, which is true for some cases but not for internet dating. Not if you go to the right sites anyway.

If you think that the internet is the "losers" way of meeting women then think again. Before even signing up, you may want to check out and read the success stories from that particular site. You will be surprised at how many there are. Maybe even one day you will have your own success story to put up there.

Clubs and Pubs.. I don’t think you can go wrong here. Many relationships start after a night at a pub or club.

The atmosphere is easy going and most other people there are like yourself, looking for a partner. Although in some cases, and it is a shame to say this, one night stands.

They too can SOMETIMES form into something more but I think that we all agree that it hardly ever works out that way. It is best not to promote that behavior so I will change the subject in a few lines time. A woman that is also interested in a one night stand may sound terrific at the time but in the long run, you will most likely get hurt and she won’t be worth your time. A bit of advice… Stick to the nice gals! You will be able to tell them apart from the one night stand type.

But yes, your best bet is either the internet or a club. Keep in mind though that you can find love almost anywhere these days. Even at the corner store if you’re lucky!

Obviously, when you enjoy every moment of a date, the relationship becomes fun and exciting. The more effort you put in to make them so, the more you’ll cherish the memories. In fact, one exciting date lays the foundation for the next one. Women enjoy dates that include fun, some intimacy and the excitement of discovery.

Start off with a plan. If your woman is an online date, one good way is to discuss it with her so that the two of you can put together some ideas that both will enjoy. There used to be a time when it was entirely up to the man to do all the planning, but not any more. It is quite all right to consult the woman about what she’d like to do – and with some compromise and a variety of choice, you’ll definitely come up with something that will make both of you want to see each other again!

Bringing in the thrill

Whether it’s the first time or subsequent dates, the classic coffee date always works. The sheer casual atmosphere of the coffee date is its whole charm. You are not under pressure, but at the same time, there’s the simmering attraction where both of you know you can reach out and touch any time. You can flirt, you can laugh over a lot of things, and generally develop closeness without the hassle of being obliged to do it. Unlike cozy dinner dates, neither of you are forced to anything that the other may or may not enjoy in terms of intimacy. You meet as equals and become comfortable in each other’s company, grow to trust each other and everything else will build on that.

Sporty type?

If she enjoys sports, it really can be great fun to go together and play pool, video arcades, etc. But avoid getting competitive with each other – remember you are trying to make your date fun and exciting – and that’s exactly what you should be having – fun. In this playful situation, with a lot of laughter, it is very easy for her to think about the next step – leading to something more intimate. Another exciting idea is to take her for ice-skating or hang gliding or hot-air ballooning. If she doesn’t know how you can always show her. This gives you a great adrenalin rush, as well as bringing you physically close together now, paving the way for physical intimacy later.

But whatever idea you dream up, just keep in mind that your goal is to build attraction and more dates.  Also, the focus must be on having a great time together. How about carrying a camera with you and clicking pictures of the wonderful time you have together? You can always suggest meeting up again to take a look at the pictures.

More than anything else, ensure that you don’t fake your personality when you meet her – it’s the worst thing for a woman not to be able to trust a guy. So – be natural, let her like you for who you are.

You don’t really expect her to tell you everything do you? She doesn’t have to, you know. It is not as if men tell women everything. While honesty is usually the best policy, there are a few secrets you just can’t expect a woman to share with you.  

Sweet little lies

Invariably most women will tell you that whatever they bought for themselves cost less than what they really paid for it. It is because they really don’t want to waste time arguing about why they spent so much on it.

Women might appear to be more emotional than men, and you might think she’s looking for a commitment when you are not ready yet to make one – but the fact is that women are just as scared about commitment as men are. But once committed, they accept it and are happy about it, usually.  And while they are independent too, they love it when you are protective. They love all those little gestures of affection even when they come across as the tough, career-oriented types. The good news is, they also think about sex with their men.

It’s you she cares about

Don’t ever expect your woman to discuss her ex boyfriends and tell you they were lousy lovers. She won’t, simply because they were not! The important part is, they care for you.

Women hate it when you tell them they are like their mothers – they’ll never tell you that – because no matter how much they love their mothers, they do not want to become like them.  So, if you guys plan on making any reference to her mom, or even your mom, perish the thought right now!

This is something women will never admit – but they like it when you turn green, with envy. They like it that it bothers you when another man pays attention to them.  Of course, that doesn’t mean women like it when the men get over-possessive. As much as a woman loves her man, she has her fantasies too. That’s right, she likes to think about other guys. But rest assured that she’d probably never do anything about it.   

Women are far more comfortable sharing all their secrets with their women friends, they tell them things they’d never admit to you. But, here again, they draw the line at the important things like intimate details between the two of you. If you expect your woman to tell you you’re doing a great job around the house, in terms of sharing housework, forget it. It is because men tend to do only half the job. But women understand that, too.

And here’s one the guys are going to love – that is the fact that even though she loves you, she does feel a teeny bit sad that she’ll never feel that exciting romance of a new relationship again! So, guys, no matter how well you like to think you know your woman, she still has those little secrets she’ll never voice to you. It could be something about her family, some problem she had before she met you, or someone she was involved with – she just won’t tell you.