You don’t really expect her to tell you everything do you? She doesn’t have to, you know. It is not as if men tell women everything. While honesty is usually the best policy, there are a few secrets you just can’t expect a woman to share with you.  

Sweet little lies

Invariably most women will tell you that whatever they bought for themselves cost less than what they really paid for it. It is because they really don’t want to waste time arguing about why they spent so much on it.

Women might appear to be more emotional than men, and you might think she’s looking for a commitment when you are not ready yet to make one – but the fact is that women are just as scared about commitment as men are. But once committed, they accept it and are happy about it, usually.  And while they are independent too, they love it when you are protective. They love all those little gestures of affection even when they come across as the tough, career-oriented types. The good news is, they also think about sex with their men.

It’s you she cares about

Don’t ever expect your woman to discuss her ex boyfriends and tell you they were lousy lovers. She won’t, simply because they were not! The important part is, they care for you.

Women hate it when you tell them they are like their mothers – they’ll never tell you that – because no matter how much they love their mothers, they do not want to become like them.  So, if you guys plan on making any reference to her mom, or even your mom, perish the thought right now!

This is something women will never admit – but they like it when you turn green, with envy. They like it that it bothers you when another man pays attention to them.  Of course, that doesn’t mean women like it when the men get over-possessive. As much as a woman loves her man, she has her fantasies too. That’s right, she likes to think about other guys. But rest assured that she’d probably never do anything about it.   

Women are far more comfortable sharing all their secrets with their women friends, they tell them things they’d never admit to you. But, here again, they draw the line at the important things like intimate details between the two of you. If you expect your woman to tell you you’re doing a great job around the house, in terms of sharing housework, forget it. It is because men tend to do only half the job. But women understand that, too.

And here’s one the guys are going to love – that is the fact that even though she loves you, she does feel a teeny bit sad that she’ll never feel that exciting romance of a new relationship again! So, guys, no matter how well you like to think you know your woman, she still has those little secrets she’ll never voice to you. It could be something about her family, some problem she had before she met you, or someone she was involved with – she just won’t tell you.

Its all about how she sees you for the first ever time – and how she feels during those first few moments after you meet, will sent the tone for the rest of your relationship. So you’ll agree that it is very important to make a lasting and great first impression. Most guys are not even aware that they are making a positive impression, since they do it so effortlessly. There are guys who go through their daily routine without knowing that they are making an impression on someone. And women like to watch men who are not going all out to impress them; not consciously, anyway!

So if she’s been watching you at that coffee shop you visit regularly and tries to catch your eye so you can smile at each other, great! She doesn’t mind being approached. BUT – what if that doesn’t happen? Are there things you can do to ensure that you will make a great impression on the woman you want to meet? Sure there are. Lets consider them.

The preparation

Many times, you feel the urge to approach a particular woman because you are irresistibly drawn to her for some reason. And let me tell you, these things happen when you least expect them. So, make sure that what she sees makes a good impression on her. We are talking about your face. Make sure your face is clean – no crust around the eyes, no snot in the nose and no food stuck between your teeth. Does it sound unlikely? You’ll be surprised at how often you can be caught by a pair of beautiful eyes smiling at you when you are desperately trying to dislodge that lettuce stuck in your front teeth! NOT a nice thing. So, no matter how good looking you are, you will not appear attractive if you are not clean. Women can be quite finicky about these things, and there’s nothing wrong with that. I am sure you wouldn’t be that crazy to go out with someone who has unpleasant body odor!

Therefore, after you’ve ensured clean eyes, nose, teeth (and nails of course – your mother was not wrong) put on a natural smile (and dress nicely). Women respond to a smiling face just like anyone else. And smiles are quite infectious.

The approach

Here’s a secret: one of the best approaches when you meet a woman is saying ‘hello’. Seriously. Rather than saying something silly like how beautiful she is (as if she doesn’t know) start with a simple hello or hi. She’ll respond to that every time. Then be casual and ask her something about her self.  It could be something she’s doing right now – where you met her – or related to what she usually does. Then you can probably invite her to join you for a coffee or lunch, depending on how it goes. The good part about this is lunch does not take up as much time as dinner dates and seems more casual.

That’s the key – be casual without being overtly interested. Be confident. First impressions convey a lot to her and that’s what this is all about. 

Let’s face it – a guy who lacks confidence, cant make up is mind, is wishy-washy – in short – a WIMP makes a lousy date. This kind of guy puts so much pressure on the woman they claim to care for, it’s only a matter of time before the woman realizes it and walks away.

Insecurity

The problem with wimps is they come across as very insecure, which is irritating. They just seem to hang around and cling a lot and that’s boring. These men are so passive that they don’t even realize the woman does not want to be with them. And when the woman does make the first move to tell them they’d better break up, these men act even more pathetic. A woman can never continue to be friends with them because then these men resort to emotionally blackmailing them.

This insecurity in wimps manifests itself as a desperate urge to be liked, and they do anything to get someone’s attention. It makes the woman doubt whether the guy really loves them or whether he is just trying to get her attention. Women generally get attracted to men who are self-confident, caring and pleasant.  Wimps have an inferiority complex and if they don’t like themselves, how can they care for someone else? Because of their tendency to cling, they even try to get the woman’s attention by buying her gifts. Even if they have romance on their mind, they don’t show it at the right time – and end up being an overdose when least wanted or too passive at the wrong moment. It’s their sheer tendency to hang around trying to bring up the courage to speak up that makes them such terrible dates.

Desperate to please

Wimps are always eager to please. They seldom care about themselves and tend to treat their women like goddesses, when all women want is to be treated like normal human beings. Wimps are afraid that when the woman is not with them, she might be drawn to some other guy. They seem very perverse in their thought process.

Insecure guys tend to be indecisive. When they are out on a date, they let the woman make all the decisions. This puts pressure on the woman. Worse still, the wimp will blame his date if something goes wrong. Also, these guys wont express themselves if they are bothered by something or tell the woman what they expect. They are afraid that they might be rejected in case the woman does not like what they say. They end up agreeing with everything the woman says and if the woman does not appreciate this behaviour, they complain.

Everyone likes a relationship where both partners have equal responsibility. Women are no different. The problem with the wimp is he is afraid he will lose the woman.

Wimps tend to pick on women with problems under the mistaken impression that they are doing them a great favour. They expect the woman to be grateful for this sort of ‘sacrifice’. Wimps tend to be more obsessed than involved, and that makes them awful dates. Insecurity and obsessiveness turn off women. They prefer men who believe in themselves and give them space.

I was talking/chatting online and my mates were talking about a dating website they had been on. One of them did not seem to have any luck and the other tried to help.

Bob:
Are you meeting many people off this dating website?

Sam:
Some. Why?

Bob:
Just wondering if anyone is actually having success.

Sam:
Are you getting any phone numbers at all?

Bob:
A few, but the conversations do not seem to go much further.

Sam:
What is the first thing you do when you get their cellphone/mobile number?

Bob:
Well, I usually text them so they know my phone number.

Sam:
And then what do you do? normally?

Bob:
Just text them a few times, give them a call about Thursday to find out what they are doing in the weekend.

Sam:
Just hang with me here, and I will see what the difference of what you do and what I do is... So what happens between you ringing them and them not replying?

Bob:
Usually ring on Thursday, then they usually text back and say they have had a better offer and dont hear back

Sam:
A better offer? So do you go for the ones that want a one night stand or go for the ones that want a relationship? (are they looking for friendship/relationships/sex or love?)

Bob:
I just message anyone.

Sam:
Well the tips I would offer you are:

• The girls that just want sex get so many messages that there is no point messaging them.
• You seem way too eager. They find that a turn off, or something like that.
• Slow down
• You need to try and be cocky/funny. Avoid most personal questions about yourself with some un-serious response.
• Do not ask them too many questions!

Just because they gave you their phone number, doesn't mean that you need to give them yours straight away. If you send them a text with in the same week, they see that you are eager. If you don't use their phone number at all, they will wonder what mistake they made. People want what they can't have. If they know they can easily have you, then you are not what they want most.

Lastly - Go for a long term relationship... The girls like that more and you don't have to keep looking all the time.

Having a girl flake on you is one of the most annoying things. You make a date with the girl of your dreams and you have things set. You have made sure that everything will be perfect. You have:

• Made sure the time suits her
• Picked her favorite meeting place
• Reminded her a day in advance
• Checked at the last moment, just to make sure that she will come.

Yet she still does not turn up.

Mummy, can we go to the park?

There is one key quality that women look for in a guy more often than anything else: 

Independence

Women are looking for a man to be a partner, not a child (or dependent). There is a big difference between them.

The Child

Children are unable to make informed decisions on their own. They can not be left alone for long and rely on their caregiver. Caregivers often find that looking after kids can be a full time job.

The Partner

Partners are able to make decisions independently, and will survive if left alone. They can be relied upon in times of need and know how to take charge of a situation.

So the real question is, are you trying to be more of a child or partner to her?

Become the partner

Before you start claiming that you are independent, here are some things that a dependent person would say:

• How about we go out for coffee?
• Where would you like to go for coffee?
• Are you free on Monday night?... How about Tuesday?... Surely you are free on Wednesday?
• How do you feel about me?

Now here are the same things but from a person that has independence:

• I am going out for coffee, but your free to come.
• Lets meet at Starbucks.
• If you are lucky, I might have time on Monday.
• I know you like me...

Why women flake on dates

When it comes down to it, women go on dates because they want to see if you are who they are looking for. As soon as you constantly display a lack of independence or value her opinion over your own, she starts to see you as a dependent person. As she does not find dependent people attractive, she knows you are not the one.

Your lack of independence has scared her off!

Some things to try are:

• Value your opinion (it is the one person you can trust).
• Display leadership.
• Stop asking questions.
• If unsure on something, try picking at random.
• Do not let her "no-show" ruin your plans.
• Make sure (or at least make her feel) that the party will still continue if she is not there.
• She is the one missing out.
• Do not become obsessed.

In the end, if she still flakes:

• It is her loss.
• Her turn to make the next move.
• Forget and remember that there are many more women out there.

(Not you, yah wuss)

Most guys assume that if they are taking a girl out for dinner, they need to pay. This is not true, and buying dinner can have a negative impact on your chances with your date.

Here is what one girl was saying recently.

Should the guy pay for dinner?
I don't know... I kinda feel bad with him paying. Is he supposed to? I don't want to make him feel bad?

Now this is a good example as it points out 2 emotions that you do not want the girl to feeling:

• Pity
• She owes you

Pity

The quote above has a good example of pity, saying that “I kinda feel bad with him paying”. This is a bad emotion to be giving any date.

The problem with pity is that it puts her status above you. This is nearly like saying “I am not worthy”.

She owes you

If she is quite a caring girl, the act of you paying will make her feel as if she owes you something. You have gone through all this effort to arrange a date and you are now paying. She knows what most males would like to happen, and if there is no connection, she will try to leave the date at the first suitable moment.

Making it special

Don't pay on the first date, this is often what she expects and by not paying, she notices that you are not like the usual guys. When you pay on the 5^th or 6^th dates, she will start thinking “Ooo he might like me” rather than “This is how dates are done”.

This does not mean that you should start paying for all the dates. Paying for her should be once in a blue moon, and give her a rush of emotion strong enough for her to get 'high' on.

One way to make things a bit more interesting is to just do what she does not expect you to do. If she expects you pay for it, you pay half. If she gets her wallet out first, you pay for the both of you.

What is a coffee date?

A coffee date (or "drinks") is a common style of first dates made popular by the increase of people meeting through online dating. It is great to use when you have never seen the other party or you are unsure if you will click with her.

If you are setting up one of your friends to go on a blind date, make it a coffee date or something similar. This will keep both parties relaxed as they most likely are out of their comfort zones just with the idea of a blind date.

Many guys go out of their way to think up fun things to do on the first date, only to find that there is no connection, or she is not what he thought she was. The coffee date makes for easy escape if things go wrong and you should really save the fun ideas for dates later on.

Location

There is only really one place to have a coffee date and that is the most convenient coffee shop, cafe or Starbucks. The coffee shop is the best place as it is a public location for a coffee date where both you and her can feel safe. The public aspect to it helps calm down the nerves of both parties allowing for a relaxed conversation.

Who buys?

As you do not know the other party well if not at all, you should not expect to pay for their coffee. If you did pay for her coffee and show your financially frivolous side, you will be giving her the expectation that you will pay on all following dates. Make paying for her more of a treat rather than the normal thing, and it will mean more to her when you do.

One hour

The problem with many other fun things you can do on dates is that they are all time consuming. They do not allow for either party to cut the date short if things do not go to plan or if they are not what you were looking for.

You should head into a coffee date with the expectation that it will not last any longer than one hour. Any longer and you run the risk of running out of things to say or becoming boring.

After the date

Once your coffee date is over, you both leave and reflect on the coffee date. If you feel it was a success you should start thinking about a second date.

Some of the messiest cars around are owned by single and divorced men. If you have a smelly, messy and overall dirty car, you can forget any hope of getting second dates.

Women like everything to be clean, and single women judge you on how clean and tidy you, your car and your place is on a first date. Making her feel dirty will leave a bad impression that is going to last. It will show her that you are disorganised, or that you do not care enough about her to clean things up before the date.

Next time you take a lady out on a date, spend a moment cleaning up your car. Wash the windows, throw out the rubbish, and empty the ash tray if you smoke.

An idea is to buy a small basket for your rubbish and organisers to keep your pens, notepad and sunglasses organised.

If you are a smoker or your car has a damp and musty smell about it, buy some air freshener. There is nothing worse than having to sit in someone else's car that stinks.

Make sure the glove compartment is also clean. Women have this habit of digging around in an attempt to find out more about you.

There is one rule that you should always follow when you are meeting women on the Internet: Get the phone number and have a real date at the first possible chance.

On dating sites you will find many professional chatters. There are people who love chat and email you. They will send you a lot of emails and will sound as if they have the best intentions of meeting you, but will never give any contact information. They will use excuses and say that they want to get to know you more.

If you can not get her number, she may be:

• Already in a relationship with another guy (or many guys)

• Just playing around and not have serious intentions of dating you or having a relationship

• A man who has never had a date in his life, sitting naked in front at his computer on the other side of the world

Even when you have her phone number, you still have to be careful. Some women just love talking and want you to call them all the time. They will have no intention of meeting you in person, so only your phone company will be getting anything good out of it.

Your are not in it for a virtual girlfriend, so you need to meet her in person and take her to dinner. If she is not serious about meeting, then there is little reason to waste time on her.

Do not believe anything she tells you until you meet her in person.

When you call a girl, you want to keep her interested and not give her the wrong impression. Here are some tips that will help you leave her wanting more.

Do not make idle chit-chat

Long conversations tend to get boring and run out of topics. Instead, end the conversation and leave her wanting to talk more.

Call with a purpose

Don't call just to chat. If your aim of the phone call is to make a date, get to the point and make the date.

Talk slower

If you talk too fast, you will sound too eager. Talk in a slower and more relaxed style and you will sound like you are more authoritative.

Make things sound exciting

Do not use a boring tone of voice. Try to put more expression into your voice and make things sound happy and exciting.

Use a flirting voice

Do not speak like you would to a casual mate.

Do not leave messages

Message are something many people find annoying or do not get back to. Too many messages and you will seem too eager.

Do not call too often

She has other things she needs to do too, like work, eat and chat to friends. Calling too often can be quite annoying.

Hang up first

If she hangs up first, it is like she is trying to get you off the line. Make it seem like you have other things to do as well as talk to her.

Women do not look for guys that do just the normal guy things or are your average type of guy. They want a guy who is above average and has something unique about them. It might be looks, how a guy acts or just an activity that many other guys don't do. Most of all, they are looking for signs of character in a guy.

So how does an average looking guy make girls notice him?

He takes part in an activity that the other guys do not, or has a refined character. The only way to achieve these are through self-improvement.

The easiest way to start self-improvement is to take a class. Ironicly, self improvement classes are also a great place to meet women, so it is a double win.

So what self-improvement classes can you take?

• Yoga

  • Improves your posture

  • Many gorgeous women

  • Women always outnumber men 7 to 1

  • Costs from $15 to $45 a month

• Acting

  • Improves your speech

  • Helps with body language

  • Removes all shyness

  • More girls than guys

  • Can also lead to money making possibilities

  • Costs from $50 to $250 for a basic course

• Boxing and martial arts

  • Makes you appear more masculine

  • Give you competitive energy

  • Helps you get fit and stay in shape

  • Costs from $40 to $75 a month

• Cooking

  • Learn impressive dishes for romantic dates

  • Lots of older women

  • Costs from $25 to $200 for a basic course

• Public speaking

  • Helps you overcome any shyness

  • Develop your communication skills

  • Costs from $50 to $250 for a basic course

• Salsa

  • Anyone can learn to dance

  • Lots of women

  • Never enough men

  • Close contact with women

  • Costs from $30 to $50 a month

• Massage

  • All women like massages and will jump at the chance to have one

  • Can also lead to money making possibilities

  • Costs from $50 to $200 for a basic course

Men are women are very different. Us women are all about love, we are always asking ourselves that big question "does he love me?". For women love is a near instantaneous thing that we suddenly fall into. We suddenly realise that we can not live without a guy.

For guys it is different, quite different. Love for a guy is a slow process, it does not happen over a few days. It is more of a gradual unnoticed transition from lust and 'sex on the brain' to love. This transition is so slow for guys, that most guys do not notice it has happened for quite some time.

Why men want sex

The fact is that men are wired for sex. A child for a woman means that they will have to look after it for many years. When a guy fathers a child there was no reason for a long term commitment before marriage was invented.

Every child a guy has is more of his genetic code passed on. The more children that he has, the more of his traits are passed along. This has left the modern man with one subconscious drive; The drive to have as much sex as possible. This is because sex is required to father as many children as possible.

How to keep a guy

So how is a girl to keep a guy from getting with other women? Us girls need to provide the guys with the environment that they subconscious desire. We need to keep them sexually satisfied. Of course you do not want to go and have sex with every guy. You just need to make sure that you have sex with the guy you want to keep.

If you want to do something else other than sex, remember the saying that "the key to a man's heart is through his stomach". Just make sure you cook a lot for him and he will never leave.

You broke up with your girlfriend and now you want her back. We have all been in this situation and it is not the best feeling. Searching the net, you start hoping for website to tell you a magical cure to your problems. I am going to make this one easy for you.

Do you have a chance?

First we need to figure out if you have a chance at winning back your ex-girlfriend. This is simple to work out and only needs one answer:

Did you break it off with her?
Or did she break it off with you?

Now lets look into your answer.

She broke it off with you

Sorry, but you have very little chance of winning your girlfriend back, unless:

• Your ex-girlfriend still acts as if you are together

• Your ex-girlfriend still frequently contacts you

• Your ex-girlfriend still flirts with you

If she broke up with you, she had a reason in mind. This is not the type of thing that people decide on the spot. She would have thought about it before, maybe even for a few weeks or months. That type of decision can not be swayed by just a few words or actions.

If she knows that you still want her, she has you in her control. Never ever let her know that you would go out with her again after she plays around with another guy or two. This will just mean that you will always be waiting for her to run out of luck with every other guy on the planet.

The best thing that you can do to win your ex-girlfriend over is move on. Girls hate to see that their ex-boyfriends are happy without them. Seeing you have fun or with another girl will make her realise that she made the wrong decision.

Even though it did not work out with your ex-girlfriend, make sure that you do not go out and look for revenge. Girls talk and any revenge may lower your chances of going out with a girl that knows your ex-girlfriend.

You broke it off with her

Chances are that just a few of the right words or some romantic action will have her falling into your arms again. She will be constantly wondering what she did wrong and how she did not want to lose you. She will miss having sex with you (if you were any good) and yes girls miss sex from a relationship as much as guys do.

Today marriage is still a big deal and time is need to be able to make the commitment needed. Living together can be a step forwards in a relationship without having the risk of divorce. It is common for relationships to be tested when you start living together and it is wise to think carefully about this step.

Many couples have questions that they would like answered before moving in. Here are a few answers to help get you thinking.

Why move in together?

This is an important question that you need to think about first. Moving in together should be a step to help strengthen an already strong relationship, not an attempt to salvage fading love. There are many reasons people start living together:

• As a step towards marriage

• Because it is the social-norm

• Save money

• Convenience

• To keep a partner you think you might be losing

You should only think about moving in together when you and your partner are looking at having a long term relationship.

Will it help our relationship?

Living with your partner has benefits as well as disadvantages. You will be living with your partner through the good times and the bad. Living together is advantageous to relationships including:

• Sharing expenses

• Sharing responsibilities

• Sharing more experiences

• Learn more about each other

• Understand each other more

With the good points also comes the bad. If your relationship is stable and built on strong foundations, you should not have a problem. You may find that moving in with your partner will mean:

• You may lose your own space

• Suddenly you can not leave on a random trip without telling your partner

• Your partner may not manage money the same way you do

• You may lose the excitement and anticipation of meeting

Living together is going to test your relationship. If it works you will have a stronger relationship, or else you may find your relationship not surviving.

Once you have perfected your profile on an online dating site, you should start getting messages or emails from other people. The quality of the people who respond will reflect the quality of your profile. If you are not getting anyone interesting messaging you that means that your profile or your photo is not up to standard yet. You should not have to send the first message to anyone, that is the job of your profile.

As you get messages from people, you obviously should reply. Not replying is rude and inconsiderate. What you would not normally think about when replying to a message is the style of your reply. Messages can have many styles and people prefer different styles. It is your job to select the right style that the recipient will like. Selecting the correct style makes the recipient feel that you have connected with them.

Although the list of message styles is limitless, there are some major features that you really should think about. These are:

• Topic

• Funny or Serious

• Informative

• Length

Topic

The first thing that you need to think about when writing a message is the topic. The topic is not just something that you can talk about. It needs to be able to spawn a great conversation and show them that you both have something in common. A message about something that they are not interested in will just get ignored.

Finding ideas for topics is easy. There are 4 places that come to mind:

1. Things they mention on their profile

2. About them

3. About you

4. Current events

Out of these 4, I would recommend that you start by talking about something on their profile first.

Funny or Serious

The next thing that you need to decide is how funny or serious your message will be. You may think that everyone would love a funny message but this is not the case. Take a career driven woman for example. You will find that some career-focused women may like your funny messages but stop responding after a while. If you try to be too funny, she will assume that you can not be serious at all. That is not a good thing.

Informative

Informative messages are similar to the lay-off between funny and serious. On one hand you want to appear knowledgeable and intelligent, but on the other hand you do not want to sound like you are a geek that has trouble with social interaction.

Length

Some people can not read long messages as they have trouble concentrating or do not have the time. Others really like to get into reading a message and like them to last as long as possible. You need to decide what the other person would like. Once you have received an email from them, try to respond with a message that has roughly the same number of paragraphs.

Making small talk is a necessary skill in many aspects of life. A new friendship will in most cases start off with casual conversation about general topics, as well as business and work often requiring you to network. Even when searching for a partner you will need to master the art of small talk.

It can be challenging and seem some what meaningless, especially to introverts. However, there is no doubt you will appear friendlier and open if you manage to keep up conversations with strangers and acquaintances. All it takes is some practice and a bit of thought.

Preparation

There are many ways you can build up your confidence when it comes to small talk. One of the main problems people experience when trying to keep up a conversation is that they are unsure what to talk about. Try to think about what interests you; your hobbies, articles and books you have read lately or a new CD you bought last week. Your passions are the best source of small talk.

It also helps to widen your horizons if you want to come off as an interesting and entertaining conversation partner. Update yourself on topics that you know little about, go eat at new restaurants or watch a movie you would normally not go see.

Practice in front of a mirror on how to appear open and approachable. Smile, make eye contact and look interested. Talk to yourself about various topics to see how it goes. Try to spot your weak points and work on them.

Get started

You need to start talking, no matter how uncomfortable it makes you feel in the beginning. Practice makes perfect. You will find that the more you do it, the more natural it will come to you. Start conversing with people you come across during the course of the day. The cashier at your local bank, the person in front of you in a queue, the old woman sitting next to you on the bus. You will soon notice that not only does it brighten your day, it will probably brighten theirs as well.

The work place is a great arena for small talk. Building relationships with co-workers is rewarding in many ways. You will feel more comfortable while performing your job if you get to know your colleagues, the networking effect will help your career chances and you will come off as a social and friendly person. Did you know that a large percentage of people find their future husband or wife at work?

The possible pitfalls

Discussing religion or politics can make you seem as an opinionated and interesting person, but it may also offend those around you. If you find it hard to judge your crowd, you are better off staying away from controversial topics. Stories involving sex or rude words also have the potential to insult someone.

Make sure that you don't get too personal with strangers. Talking about how your child is doing in school is fine, telling someone about your horrible ex is not. Avoid subjects that can make your conversation partner feel uncomfortable.

Perfecting your art

To be a good talker, you need to be a good listener. Keep your attention fixed on the person you are conversing with. Letting your eyes wander around the room and seeming bored is considered rude by most people. Focus on being an active listener; ask follow up questions and make comments relating to what they are talking about.

At most social gatherings you will benefit from keeping chats short and sweet. When it is time to move on you should excuse yourself politely. If you go to fill up your drink, make a trip to the bathroom or sit down to have some food, ending your current conversation will come naturally. Either way, make your goodbye civil and respectful. It may help to memorize a few exit lines: “I see a friend of mine over there, I should go and say hello”, “Let me refresh our drinks” or “I guess we should mingle a bit” will be sufficient.

For many guys, they spend years wondering why nice guys end last. Nice guys never get the girls or are dumped for being "too nice". The girls are not saying that your too nice, they are saying that your a push over, and they need someone who is more a challenge. If you think back through human history, guys have always been the hunter. While the girls are at home, or collecting berries, the guys are out finding meat and killing the wild life. Girls are just hard wired to go for guys that have the hunter mentality, and would be able to protect them.

The following quotes are examples of what girls are looking for in a guy:

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On a forum, a guy asked "I treat women too nice. Is this possible?". In response the answer was: No, Jim, but you may define "nice" differently than women do. That dreaded nice-guy syndrome has little to do with actually being nice. To make a woman totally disrespect and despise you -- be passive, be ambivalent, avoid conflict, and be androgynous - in other words, turn yourself into a "nice guy".

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Give me a challenge.

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A wise man appreciates that fear is an enormous aphrodisiac. Not knowing exactly what will happen next is both utterly frightening and exhilarating -- it incites passion both in soul and body. Jerks may not be gentlemen, but sometimes we take that chance to feel the "rush" instead of playing it safe and monotonous with a Bob-Newhart-kind of guy. Think of a quickie in a semi-public place. The idea of fear -- of being caught -- is what makes the heart race, not the sex itself. Illicit love is not "safe," which fuels our fear and heightens our arousal.

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I know of a girl who thought she only liked vanilla ice cream. But her dominant, mysterious lover kept urging her to try new flavours. Slowly and cautiously, she's licking her way up to 31 flavours....

Some dating sites would have you believe that you can get any girl you want. That after buying their book, you will have women falling into your arms. Although this is not entirely true, there are quite a few things that you can do to improve your chances with a date. Here are 3 to start you off.

Acting needy

One element that women like in men is where the man appears as if he does NOT need a woman. There are many actions that a man can do to show people that he needs a woman:

• Buy women drinks in bars

• Buy women gifts, cars or even vacations.

• Constantly being around a particular lady

• Not appearing self-sufficient

None of these will get you very far, unless you are trying to show her that she can use you for your money with nothing in return. Instead you need to make it look like you do things your way:

• If you are dating a girl, you should not see her every night of the week.

• You do not need to go to every social event just because a girl you like will be there.

• Tell her that you will need to move the dinner date to another night if something more important comes up.

• Don't ask her where she would like to go on a date first. If you have to ask her, state where you would like to go first.

Being a nice guy

There is a distinct difference between being a friend of a girl and being her partner. On your first and successive dates, you do not want to let her think that you would be better as a friend.

• Don't make any of your mates sound better than you

• Don't try and solve her problems, and if possible, keep her away from that topic entirely

• Don't talk about ex-partners or tell her about any of your problems

In addition to this, you want her to think that you are someone she wants to be around all the time. This means that you need to have fun with her. Dinner dates are more romantic than fun, so leave these until latter. Instead try doing something active like bowling or mini golf.

The other really important thing to remember is that you should be the one making the decisions and moving things along. It is up to you to deicide what to do on the date and when, not her. This is also true when it comes down to kissing as well. More often than not, the guy will lean in for the kiss first, or make the first skin contact with his hands.

Talking about yourself

When it comes does to it, women are known for talking. They seem to enjoy it and knowing the latest piece of gossip seems to be in their nature. This is why you should get her talking about herself. Don't talk about yourself for very long at all.

Be careful that you do not end up asking question after question as this can seem odd after a while. Express interest or even just some form of emotion in something she has just mentioned instead of directly asking her to tell you more.

There is also a bonus gained from getting the girl to do the most talking... You do not tell them as much about yourself and you can stay a mysterious character. Women love mystery like this and will try to learn more about you. Mystery is an underestimated draw card.

For many guys, dating a girl can be as confusing as it is fun. Many men think that women are hard to figure out and understand. For example, a common gripe is that women say what they don't mean. They say things that have hidden messages or subtle meaning. They expect you to read their minds. It can be complicated, for certain. However, whena woman is not interested, the signs are clear.

Its important to pay attention to the kind of vibe a women is giving you when in a relationship or when interested in starting one. While she may not come outright and say she wants to be left alone, there are other ways to tell that may help you to bow out gracefully before letting her call the shots.

She's Not Laughing

A woman who is interested in a guy will laugh at almost everything he says. She will touch him arm, look directly into his eyes and smile frequently. A woman that is not interested will slap a fake smile on her face without laughing, politely tolerate what is being said (if you're lucky) and make an excuse to leave as soon as possible. Unless you're at a funeral, if a woman is not laughing, walk away.

In a relationship, having a sense of humour is an important tool to keep things fresh and to weather the ups and downs that will come. When a woman stops being able to laugh at the little things, it may be time to re-evaluate the direction of the relationship. This alone may not signify a potential reason for breaking up, however it's a sure sign that there are problems that need to be addressed. Simply put - if a woman is laughing, she's happy. If she's not, she's not.

She's Difficult to Please

If a woman is not interested, nothing you can do or say will please her. She'll have a comment, usually a critical one, about everything from how you dress to who your friends are. Go ahead and take it personally and walk away with your self-esteem still in tact. If a man will not walk away on his own, a woman will use her words to chase him away.

While some people are just difficult to please anyway, in a relationship, a woman who is no longer interested will have a noticeable change in this behaviour. It will heighten or come to an extreme place. A man will start to feel whipped and emotionally drained from following around a woman who will never stops to let him catch up. Its important to address this behaviour and get to the cause because it may be a sign that its time to jump ship and swim for calmer shores.

She Always Has Her Friends Around

Friends are a great buffer. A woman who is not interested doesn't want to be alone with you. Whether you're in a relationship or just getting to know each other, a group of friends that won't go away is a sure sign that she's looking for a way out. A woman who is interested will tell them to leave and not to wait up.

Overcoming shyness may be a challenging feat especially if you were naturally shy as a kid or as a teenager. Although you can never really overcome shyness completely, you can at least minimize it. Here are some quick tips on how you can do so:

A Strong Visual Image

Most people tend to be shy when they are unsure of what to do or what to say in a given situation. The solution is to simply prepare for it. Visualize in your mind what you think is likely to happen on your date and prepare for the things you should say or do.

Be Interesting

Being an interesting person isn't really something you can do over night. What you need to do is get involved with your community, join organizations, do better at work, or get yourself a good hobby. The rationale is that if you find something interesting to talk about yourself, which you can be highly proud of, then that would give you more confidence to go out there and consequently overcome your shyness.

Make Eye Contact

Wandering eyes can mean uneasiness and shyness. It may seem hard at first but you really need to establish eye contact with the person you are talking with. As a timid person, the first few minutes may seem awkward for you - but you will eventually feel comfortable as the minutes pass by. If you are talking, grinning and meeting a person's eye after a couple of minutes - congratulations, you are effectively overcoming your shyness.

Be Yourself

Some people have a misconception about alcohol and overcoming shyness. Don't try to get drunk thinking that it is the only way to overcome your shyness - it usually does more harm than good. Always be yourself and try to reveal your personality to the person you are dating. If you are a naturally shy person, then so be it - it's better than pretending to be someone you are not. It is always rewarding to know a person likes you entirely for who you are, shy or not

Whoever came up with the rule of thumb that guys should make the first move must be six feet under by now. It's a totally outdated concept! Women have climbed the corporate ladder, battled with male politicians, so why couldn't they go ahead and make the first move when meeting men?

It's always scary to take that first step. We are all sprinkled with ingredients of rejection in varying amounts. If only we could predict whether or not a person would turn us down, then we wouldn't bother to sit beside her and waste some $20 on a drink.

If it's too much of a hassle for you to approach a woman, then just reverse the whole situation. Charm your way to her and let her make the first move. If there is one traditional formula to do that, that will be the magic of eye contact.

Making eye contact, as simple as it is, can be a little tricky. The eyes can communicate a thousand words in those precious seconds you met her eyes. Make sure you have the right look in your eyes. How do you know when you've achieved the correct look? What's in your mind is basically what would be projected in your eyes. So if you are thinking to go get a girl and get her to bed, that tinge of lust would be caught in your eye.

So the next time you sit in a bar or shop in a mall and see a woman you might want to have a date with, here's what you need to do. Stare seriously at her eyes, not at her legs or anywhere else. It doesn't matter if she is looking at you or not. It's a common thing for people to be conscious of the people looking at them. If she feels your eyes on her, she will eventually acknowledge that she knows you are looking by giving her own look. When this happens, simply smile back at her. Don't wink or lick your lips, please! The few seconds you lock her in an eye contact may be all the chance you're going to get to make an impression, so don't blow it!

When she stares back that gives you the green light signal. It's even better if she gives you a shy smile, which simply means she's open to the thought of meeting you. Next thing you know, she might come up and say "hi".