Someone is said to be 'playing footsie' when they are touching and rubbing their legs against another persons in a sexual manner, often under a table. More often than not, a lady will initiate it. It can not be done with shoes on as it needs skin to skin contact to work the best.

A game of footsie is often incorporated into movies, where a lady with a stocking covered foot with start running her foot against a guys leg while they are both in a restaurant (or diner). She starts touching her toes against the lower leg and then rubs her foot up the leg. It is often accompanied by a playful, sexual stare and direct eye contact is made.

There is a few different way to spell Footsie, including Footie. The reason why the version 'footie' is avoided as it is the name of a sport in some countries.

Importance of touch

When flirting with the opposite sex, touch is a very important tool in obtaining an emotional connection. It could be with your hands, feet or another part of you body, but if both parties enjoy the touching, you will both have a stronger emotional connection.When used incorrectly, it could destroy the chance for a relationship.

Variations

There are many variations to a Footsie. One is call Football. This is when a girl runs her foot up her partners leg and moves it over her partners crotch. 

Oh and if you are wondering what the phrase "I want to play footsie with you" is in French, I think is along the lines of:

Je veux faire du pied a toi!

When it comes to body language, it does not matter whether she is interested in you. You will attract her attention if you do not play it too needy. If you look out for these signs, you will be able to tell if you are making progress. It also makes for interesting watching whena guy is trying so hard, but the lady is showing no signs of interest. You can't help but have a chuckle about it.

Her lips:

• Big smiles with upper and lower teeth showing with a relaxed face.
• Biting of the lips or showing of the tongue, licking her lips or touching of her front teeth.
• She wets her lips, some women use only a single-lip lick, wetting the upper or lower lip, while others run the tongue around the entire lip area.
• She puts her fingernail between her teeth.
• She protrudes her lips and thrust her breasts forward.

Her eyes:

• She gazes in your eyes with deep interest and her pupils are dilated.
• She raises both eyebrows exaggeratedly for a couple of seconds, this is often combined with a smile and some eye contact.
• She winks at you while talking to you or winks at you from a distance.
• While talking to you, she blinks more than usual, fluttering her eyelashes.
• Eyebrows raised and then lowered, then a smile indicates interest in you.

Her hair:

• She pushes her fingers through her hair. This can be one hand movement or more of a stroking motion.
• She twirls her hair around her fingers while she is looking at you.
• She is throwing her hair back off her shoulders.

Her clothing:

• If she is wearing clothes that show her nipples underneath and you notice they are getting perky and erect.
• The hem goes up to expose a little more leg.
• She is fixing, patting or smoothing her outfit to make herself look better.

While she is seated:

• She moves in time to the music, with her eyes on you.
• She starts sitting straight up and her muscles appear to be firm.
• She is sitting with her legs open.
• She sits with her legs crossed in a manner to reveal her thigh.
• Her legs are rubbing against each other.
• Her legs are rubbing against the leg of the table.
• Her crossed leg is pointed towards you or if that same leg is rocking back and forth towards you.

Her hands:

• She exposes the palms of her hand facing you.
• While talking to you, she rests an elbow in the palm of one hand, while holding out her other hand, palm up.
• She rubs her wrists up and down.
• She sits with one hand touching one of her breasts.
• She rubs her chin or touches her cheek. This indicates that she's thinking about you and her relating in some way:)
• She is fondling keys, sliding hands up and down a glass, playing with toys or other things on the table.
• She plays with her jewellery, especially with stroking and pulling motions.
• She touches your arm, shoulder, thigh, or hand while talking to you.
• She is pretending to look at her watch as you pass her.

Her voice

• She raises or lowers the volume of her voice to match yours.
• She speeds up or slows down her speaking to match yours.
• She laughs in unison with you.
• In a crowd she speaks only to you and focuses all of her undivided attention on you.

Miscellaneous:

• She mirrors your body language and body positions.
• Her skin tone becomes red while being around you.
• She blows smoke straight out from between her lips and toward you.
• She leans over and speaks into her friend's ear, just like in junior high school.
• She is standing with her head cocked slightly at an angle, one foot behind the other, hips slightly thrust forward.
• At a party - every once in a while she seems to appear out of nowhere in your vicinity and if you move to another spot, soon she appears out of nowhere again, you catch her glancing in your general direction (actually, glancing at YOU dummy!:), she bumps into you… accidentally, touches you… accidentally etc:)

When talking to a girl, these are some of the more important signs to watch for:

• Can you keep conversation going with her?
• Does she react well to your touch?
• Does she touch you?
• Does she laugh?

Signs of the wrong topic

All these signs usually tell you that the girl is captivated by your charms. As the conversation progresses, you may find that her body language changes and see starts to show fewer signs. If this happens, just change the subject and see what happens. 

Signs of interest from across the room

Here are signs of interest sent from across the room. Most are applicable to both sexes. The sequence of the list approximates the courtship sequence.

Frequency of eye contact, the more the better. Amount of time she, or he, holds your gaze, the longer the better. How she breaks off eye contact, down before away is great! Shine of the eyes, the brighter the better. Direction of body, toward you, good, away, bad. Overall posture, erect and alert are good. Tilt of head, vertical is bad, increased tilt is great. Where the drink is held, high in front as a barrier, that's bad. Hand activity, clenched, squeezing or pinching is bad, open, caressing or stroking is great.

Most of us are slightly afraid as well as somewhat excited in settings where social interaction is expected and required. So, most people do not sit or stand in an open posture. But, during courtship, the more open the other person's posture is, the more open that person is to you and your advances. And, the more open you are, the more likely the other person is to open up to you. 

First Conversation Signals

Men, pay attention to all the ways she communicates during the first few minutes as you talk with her.

In social settings, most of us start out in a closed, defensive posture because we're a bit apprehensive. A closed posture feels safe. When the person you are talking with shifts to a more open posture, it signifies trust and comfort. That person is, literally, opening up to you and what you have to offer. It takes courage to open up to the other person. If you go first, she, or he, will usually follow your move from closed to slightly more open. Open up in, slow, gradual shifts of posture.

Holding gaze - This is where you look into someone’s eyes while they look into yours. Ensure that they have a smile on their face.

Touching - Touching the other person without them pulling away, while they have a pleasant look on their face. Best to start with safe places, such as the back or the hands or arms, or by brushing or bumping against him or her.

Leaning in - Leaning towards the other person while being engaged in what they are saying or doing.

Facing them – Although facing the person is not primarily romantic body language, it is a method of engaging with them. If your body is tilted away from them it might seem like you are looking forward for the conversation to end.

Paying attention – This should be simple, but can be missed. Looking at your cell-phone or doing anything that prevents you from looking at them is negative body language.

Stroking – If a person is looking at your while stroking their legs, arms, face or hair, this is an indicate that they might want you both to touch in that manner.

Looking at you from afar - A person looking at you from afar, for longer than usual may indicate a romantic interest. If the person looks back at you again this idea is strengthen.

Licking lips – If a person is looking at you while licking or pursing their lips into a kiss shape, this indicates they might be wanting to kiss you in some manner. This may also involve objects such as wine glasses.

Preening – This includes tossing of hair, touching hair, brushing clothes, polishing glasses. Generally anything that might mean they are making themselves look good for you.

Body displays – Exposing, thrusting, wiggling or accentuating their body in any manner is an attempt to get sexual attention. This includes arms, legs and crotch for guys and breasts, neck, bottom, legs and feet for women.

Mirroring – This is when the person copies what you are doing or your pose. This indicates their awareness of you.

Body scanning – This is where a person looks up and down a person’s body. This shows interest in how they look. This is emphasised when they let you catch them looking at your body.

The 2 foot rule – When someone is within 2 feet of you, they are within your personal space; this indicates a willingness to risk the chance of physical contact. This is a good time to brush against them.

Evaluating responses – This involves the person making slow but steady advancements in their romantic body language while watching your response. This allows them to determine if you feel the same way.

Laughing – Laughing a lot is quite a strong romantic sign, especially if what they are laughing at was not really that funny. Girls can get a giggle that indicates a flirty mood.

Talking – When they are talking a lot when they are around you it is a good sign. People like to talk about themselves, and although this is not always romantic, it can be a sign.

• If she pushes her fingers through her hair, she is looking to get your attention. Clean and neat hair is as important for a woman as acceptable height, wide shoulders and biceps for a man. The woman who grooms her hair with high care expresses that she is full of energy and feels like doing certain family-friendly activities. The way she touches her hair is also very important. It tells you information about her temperament. If she does it slowly you have encountered a cunning expert of the art of love. Quick, nervy movements disclose impatience or embarrassment.

• If she touches the edge of the glass with her fingers, Freudian psychologists interpret it as a sexual sign. This theory is supported by the women themselves, who claim that they deliberately pet the glass, in order to call the chosen man’s attention upon themselves. When you enter a bar and see a full-bosomed blonde touching and caressing her martini glass so that it’d scream, do not think that she is expressing her musicality this way. Don’t ask her whether she is playing the latest hit of Iglesias. This question would not be appropriate. Instead of asking stupid questions, notice the way she is playing the "musical instrument". Elegant, caressing movement is a sign of intrinsic calmness, self-control and waiting, so sit by her. Her beating a rhythm on the glass with her nails is a sign of impatience ora broad hint of SOS, which she’s sending to her boyfriend, who is fighting for another Bailey’s at the bar.

Check out her hands and arms.

• If she leans on her hand with her chin and her eyes seem to be thinking, it’s not always the sign of her being impressed by your appearance. Generally the woman tries to answer her own question this way: "Does this guy deserve me" You know the answer, but the lady needs time. If you want to help her make the only right decision, be politely determinate and determinately polite. Flash your sense of humor as well.

• If she sits back with her arms crossed together, this is the worst possible thing you can encounter when out hunting. This gesture is evidence of the fact that you’ve made the worst impression of all on the woman and she doesn’t trust you at all. Nothing helps here, neither refined jokes, nor nice, muscular body.

• The way the woman herself thinks of her hands is also very important. If she stares at them for a very long time, it may imply that something angers her (perhaps you?). if she beats the rhythm on the table or the bar means a similar state of mind. You think she’s a wild cat, but you’re wrong. She’s thinking about a way how she could get rid of you.

Look at the lips.

• If a woman wets her lips quite frequently, it’s either out of habit or desire to get you to pay attention to her lips and sooner or later kiss her.

• When a woman is biting your lips, do not interrupt her – everything’s alright. But if she’s biting hers, you may assume that she’s nervous. Why? Perhaps you are staring at her too quizzingly.

Eye the eyes. According to famous experts of the topic and authors of cheap romantic stories the fast movement of the eye-lashes is the sign of women who like to conquer men of their own accord. Besides they are emancipated, who like to take over the duty of initiation. They aren’t waiting for your jokes and wide smile. They undertake to initiate. The only problem with such ladies is that not all of them will enjoy herself in the role of the doped out game. But if you don’t mind losing the role of the hunter, swallow the bait.

Check out the legs. Researchers of body language emphasize that when a woman frequently crosses her legs or let them swing, is also a sexually charged movement. The strongest of all these movements is when she opens her legs without meaning it. It’s a classical Freudian opening symbol. (You must remember Sharon Stone opening her legs in such a beautiful way in Basic Instinct.) A contrary sign to this is when she puts her legs together.

Tips

• Not all women have the same body language.

Body language is the meaning behind the words or the “unspoken” language. Surprisingly, studies show that only up to an estimated 10 percent of our communication is verbal.

The majority of the rest of communication is unspoken. This unspoken language isn’t rocket science. However, there are some generalizations or basic interpretations that can be applied to help with the understanding or translating of these unspoken meanings. Here are some basics below.

1. Smile

Women like warm smiles. Think of a heartfelt warm-fussy, maybe your favourite pet, and smile.

2. Eyes

If you don’t look a woman in the eyes while speaking, this can be interpreted as dishonesty or hiding something. Likewise, shifting eye movement or rapid changing of focus/direction can translate similarly.

If more than one woman is present in a group, look each in the eye as you speak, slowly turning to face the next with eye contact as well. Continue on so that each one has felt your warm, trusting glance. Some suggest beginning with one person and moving clockwise around the group so that no one is missed, and so that you are not darting around, seemingly glaring at people.

3. Attention Span / Attitude

Women can tell what type attitude you have by your attention span. If you quickly lose focus of what is being said, and if your attention span wanders, this shows through and makes you seem disinterested, bored, possibly even uncaring.

4. Attention Direction

If you sit or stand so that you are blocking another in the party, say someone is behind you, this can be interpreted as rude or thoughtless. So be sure to turn so that everyone is included in the conversation or angle of view, or turn gently, at ease and slowly, while talking, so that everyone is incorporated, recognized and involved in the conversation. Again some suggest the clockwise movement when working a group.

5. Arms Folded / Legs Crossed

This can be seen as defensive or an end to the conversation. So have arms hang freely or hold a glass of water, a business card or note taking instruments while communicating with women. Be open with open arms. Note: If you need to cross legs, cross at your ankles and not your knees. Sitting tightly folded up says that you are closed to communications.

6. Head Shaking

If women are shaking their heads while you speak, they are in agreement. If they are shaking, “no,” disagreement reigns in their minds.

7. Space / Distance

On the whole, women like their own personal body space. Give women room and keep out of their space. Entering to close can be intrusive and viewed as aggressive. Leaning – Sitting or standing, leaning is viewed as interest. In other words, an interested listener leans toward the speaker. Note women's body language – While you are with women, note how their bodies read. If a woman suddenly folds her arms across her chest and begins shaking her head “no,” you’ve probably lost her. You might try taking a step back and picking up where the conversation began this turn for the negative and regroup. It’s all about strategic planning!

Does she want you, or doesn't she? Her words may be ambiguous, but her body language says it all.

Imagine this: You're saying goodnight to a terrific woman you've just met and hope to see again. "I'll call you in a couple of days," you say enthusiastically.

"That would be great," she replies, raising her left hand in front of her face, then fluttering her fingers in what looks like a sexy little au revoir wave as she slowly backs away.

You stand there grinning as she turns and strides quickly toward her car. You're excited about all the possibilities - until two days later, when you make the promised phone call and hear, "You know, I don't think we really have enough in common to see each other again."

Huh?

Where did that come from? Didn't she say it would be great if you called? So what's the story?

The problem is, in the euphoric haze of what you thought wasa very promising encounter, you heard her words but tuned out the cues she was giving you in the language of inescapable truth: her body language.

You didn't notice that by backing away from you, by using her hand as a subtle barrier to keep you at bay, and by fanning the air with her "goodbye" message, her body contradicted every word her lips formed. Maybe she didn't consciously know she had reservations about seeing you until much later, but her body knew from the get-go and was letting you know with key rejection signals. And since you weren't reading her completely, you wound up getting blindsided.

When it comes to understanding a woman, what she's doing is just as important as what she's saying - sometimes more so. After all, she can't be totally honest; if she comes out and tells you she's hot for you, she might seem desperate or easy. Or if she isn't interested in what you're selling, she might not want to hurt your feelings by saying so. Luckily, her body's messages are a lot less coy, which means that understanding them will give you a better idea of what she's really thinking and feeling. And then you'll know when you need to change your approach or move on to someone else, and when it's time to go in for the kill.

The next time you meet a woman you're interested in, watch for the following physical signals. (Of course, don't concentrate so hard that you forget to listen to what she's actually saying, too.) The more you practice, the better you'll become at figuring out what's really going on in a woman's head. And who knows? She might be happy to have finally met a man who truly understands her.

1. If she makes direct, steady eye contact, she's interested. (You may be able to stir her on with a few lingering gazes of your own, but don't overdo it - staring will just make her uncomfortable, especially if you forget where her eyes are.)

2. If she leans in close to you, she's attracted. And if she gets close enough to whisper in your ear, she's really saying that she wants to be even closer.

3. If she leans away from you, she's distancing herself from what you're talking about - or from you. Change your approach immediately.

4. If she smiles with her mouth but not her eyes, it's likely that she's just trying to be polite.

5. But if you can see both rows of teeth when she smiles, she's genuinely happy to be with you.

6. If her palms are open, it shows sincerity and receptivity - she isn't hiding anything from you.

7. If her fists are closed or clenched, she's angry or she's protecting herself from you (or she's about to take a swing at you).

8. If she tilts her head, she's creating a sultry, affectionate gaze that shows her interest.

9. If she tosses or touches her hair, this is classic "preening" behavior and is clearly flirtatious in a social setting.

10. if she lifts her hair off her neck and stretches, baring her neck, she's displaying submissive behavior that leaves her vulnerable to you - a telltale sign of attraction.

11. If she taps or drums her fingers, she's bored, impatient or annoyed.

12. If her legs are crossed in your directions, she's inviting you to stay put.

13. But if she's swinging her foot in your direction, consider that she's actually making a kicking motion.

14. If she hides her face with her hand or a menu, she's protecting herself from you, or she's keeping something from you.

15. If her hand is on her cheek, she's still evaluating the situation.

16. If her hand is over her mouth, she disapproves of you or is reluctant to say what's on her mind.

17. If she blushes, or her ears or chest redden, she's nervous, excited and possibly quite attracted to you.

18. If she moistens her lips with the tip of her tongue, that's a very good thing. If she applies lipstick in your presence, that's even better ... especially if she does it slowly.

19. If her arms are crossed, she's defensive and guarded.

20. If she touches your arm, even very casually, that's a very good sign. Even if she touches everybody that way, this signal may not mean she's crazy about you, but she certainly isn't repulsed by you.

21. If she touches any other part of your body, she definitely wants to get to know you better.

22. If she rubs up against you with her body, she really wants you - unless, of course, she just had to squeeze by you in order to get to the bathroom.

23. If she seems generally tense, ask her nicely if she's hada bad day. If she hasn't, it's you. Now is the time to get her to laugh, ask her to dance or at least have another drink before she bolts.

24. If she seems generally relaxed, you're doing fine - she's enjoying being with you and is open to future possibilities. If you keep doing what you've been doing, she'll be putty in your hands.

Seattle-based therapist Joy Davidson, PhD, answers your sex questions in our "Ask Dr. Joy" column.

Pick-up lines

If you're at a bar or a party and have been together for more than 10 minutes, ask if you can buy her a drink. (This may seem rudimentary, but you'd be surprised how many men ignore basic boy-girl etiquette.

If you want to spark a woman's welcoming body signals, you'll need to use that other language - English - to get her interested. Here are few ways to tune up your conversational skills and keep the electricity flowing during that all-important first encounter.

• Use your sense of humor. If you can make her laugh, you're halfway home. (But if you think a joke might offend her, forget it. There's no faster way to make her think you're a jerk.)
• If you're at a bar or a party and have been together more than 10 minutes, ask if you can buy her a drink. (This may seem rudimentary, but you'd be surprised how many men ignore the basics of boy-girl etiquette.)
• Introduce her to people who come by to say hi to you, and include her in the conversation. Be friendly toward her pals, too, but not too friendly toward the female ones.
• Be enthusiastic about the aspects of your life you really enjoy. If there are aspects you hate, don't bring them up.
• Women often complain that men talk about themselves too much, so make a focused effort to explore her interests, too. Try posing highly specific, open-ended questions, such as: "What's it like to be a broker in this roller-coaster market?" Or, "How was it growing up with three brothers?"
• Respond to her answer by adding a least one follow-up question that reveals your genuine interest.
• If you really don't give a hoot about what she said, instead of taking it, try smoothly drifting to another topic that ignites some mutual enthusiasm. (And if you can't find one, maybe you should drift to another woman.)
• Maintain eye contact while she speaks, and be sure not to interrupt her.
• Speak neutrally or positively about other women, especially your ex-girlfriends.
• Compliment her ideas, her way of expressing herself, her laugh, her wit ... in short, anything you especially like about her that doesn't pertain to her looks or her body. (Save that sort of flattery for your first date, where you tell her how terrific she looks as soon as you see her.)

A subtle way of getting the attention of the opposite sex is through their nose. While you are trying to figure out how, let me explain some background. The olfactory bulb at the top (inside) of the nose feeds directly into the old brain limbic system, which is the most primitive part of the brain. This is where the emotions, sexual responses and body language are initiated. That is why odors can evoke powerful basic instinctual emotions.

About one percent of human genes (and that is a lot!) encode our ability to detect approximately 10,000 scents. Smell accounts for the largest gene family yet discovered in mammals. Aroma cues are taken very seriously by the brain. Odors guide one to eating, mating and avoiding danger.

Pheromones are chemical molecules produced by insects, animals and humans. These molecules are so strong they affect the behavior of those who inhale or ingest them. For the most part, these chemicals are used to stimulate sexual interest in the opposite sex. Some insects and animals will not mate without first getting a whiff of their prospective partner. After a good sniff of the right chemicals signaling good health and a more than receptive attitude, there is nothing stopping the insects and animals from mating. For example, pheromones produced by male cockroaches attract female cockroaches. Not only that, it causes them to get into the correct mating position!

Some commercially-available substances claim that they contain sex pheromones and can act as an aphrodisiac. These claims generally are greatly exaggerated and have not been demonstrated scientifically. A few well-controlled scientific studies have been published demonstrating that humans may be affected by pheromones in some circumstances. One study involves the synchronization of menstrual cycles among women living together. The evidence indicates the synchronization is done unconsciously by their pheromones.

Other studies have suggested that women can use odor cues to select males who will increase chances for a healthy offspring. In 1995, Claus Wedekind of the University of Bern in Switzerland asked a group of women to smell some unwashed t-shirts worn by different men. The women were able to sniff the shirts and reject (said they were "offensive") those shirts worn by males closely related to themselves. The women were attracted to clothing that was worn by males with a very different immune system than their own. Presumably, this difference in immune systems allows the male and female to combine their defenses and give their offspring the best chances for survival.

Pheromone production in humans becomes functional after reaching puberty. This could explain why most people become attracted to the opposite sex at puberty. Pheromones could also be the reason why we feel an instant attraction, or dislike, when we first meet someone. It may be their smell that turns us 'on' or 'off' to them.

Human pheromones are highly individualized and not always noticeable. In 1986 Dr. Winifred Cutler, a biologist and behavioral endocrinologist, discovered pheromones in humans' underarms. She found that once any overbearing underarm sweat was removed, what remained were the odorless materials containing the pheromones.

The dominant chemical scent secreted by humans is a pungent, musky scent, with male's odor stronger than female's. Much of the chemical scent is produced by dense concentrations of apocrine glands in the underarms, and by lesser concentrations in the face, scalp, ears, navel and genital area. This is not just one chemical but apparently is made up of hundreds of compounds in individualized combinations so each person has a distinct odor. People of eastern origin (China, Japan, Korea) have far fewer apocrine glands (and armpit odor) than Europeans and Africans.

Overall, the human sweat smell is a natural, animal-like, musky aroma which can be emotionally stimulating and sexually attractive. To many men and women the smell of clean skin and a little fresh sweat is the most powerful turn-on. In crowded places this is a subtle odor that gets hidden under the other odors such as food, smoke and any polluting chemicals in the air. Therefore, some men and women have resorted to their own chemical warfare with manufactured fragrances in scented products for skin and hair. These fragrances are often from flowers or herbs, or they imitate them.

There is historical evidence for the use of sweat to attract a mate. Once when Napoleon Bonaparte was returning home from a long period of warring he sent a message ahead to Josephine: "Home in three days. Don't wash." Old English folk tales passed down over many generations told young men how to seduce a young woman with his own sweat. The 'secret' was to place a clean linen handkerchief under his clean arm pit while he danced and twirled the young lady making her dizzy. After the dance, as she recovered, he was to fan her and dab her perspiring forehead with his pheromone saturated handkerchief. The results reportedly were guaranteed to be rewarding.

Desperate women from the Austrian and Swiss Alps also had their own secret weapon to capture men. They would place a part, or even a whole, peeled apple under their arm before the dancing started. After a series of dances they would discreetly remove their apple (and its secret chemical load) to give to the man to smell and eat. It was called a 'love apple' and came with an unwritten guarantee to produce its own rewards for both the woman and man.

In one research project, men preferred women's clean sweat odor over the most expensive perfumes, even when the sweat odor was imperceptible. Over 200 chemical compounds are secreted by the human body in sweat, saliva and genitals. Recent research identified that the arm pit and crotch secretions of men and women differ significantly. Not surprisingly, men and women each prefer the odor of the opposite sex. Very important factors that have great influence on the effectiveness of the sweat as an attractant are a person's cleanliness, diet and overall health.

Interestingly, some research unexpectedly found that women who live closely with a man (sleep with him and have frequent sex) have better balanced physiology. Menstrual cycles are more regular and overall health is better than women who live more isolated from men. The main factor appeared to be how much olfactory exposure (i.e smells) each woman had with the man and his body odors.

The pheromone 'androstenone' (a musky odor) has been identified in the sweat and urine of men and is presumed to be a sexual stimulant to women but has an adverse effect on men. It induces anger in men if it is from another man! Androstenone reportedly has been synthetically manufactured and is being sold in various solutions on the Internet.

According to Chicago neurologist Alan Hirsch Ph.D., men's cologne usually causes a decrease in women's vaginal blood flow unless it is a natural fresh scent. What makes a man appealing to most women are light sprays and deodorants on him, such as ocean breeze, kiwi, or a combination of baby powder and chocolate. The smell of his own clean skin with a little fresh sweat, combined with fresh fruity scents, is the strongest stimulant for a female. Hirsch discovered that men's penile blood flow increased up to 40% from the smell of cinnamon buns, roast meat, cheese pizza, chocolate, vanilla or peppermint.

So what can we make of all this? Maybe it is all very simple. Perhaps a 'turn-on' for men is either a pheromone from a woman or vanilla and chocolate ice cream on fresh baked apple pie with lots of cinnamon. For women it may be the right soiled T-shirt. Oh well, whatever turns you on, go for it!

Ask any woman - the first thing they look for in a man is confidence. It turns them on. It's worthwhile to fake it even if he doesn't quite feel it, so he can create that positive first impression with good posture. But he has to strike the right balance.

Looking confident doesn't mean strutting around - confidence shows up as a comfortably erect posture without trying too hard. Women know the difference between being over-confident and easy confidence. They can intuitively pick the right ones - so practice being at ease or she will think you are a tease!

Men who are confident look into the women's eyes when they talk to them while those that are not will seem shifty eyed. Confident guys are relaxed, their hands are at the sides or on the table - they don't keep touching themselves or something. They speak clearly and are not too loud or too soft, and generally seem to be clear-headed.

The cocky guy usually talks about himself - and you can be sure that no woman likes that. Confident men have pleasant expressions on their face while the guy who is not, seems to have silly mannerisms. You'll find that confident men are focused in their thoughts and action - while the ones that are not don't even seem to think they need one!

So guys, make sure that you try and appear confident if you want to make that crucial first impression. Think about things that make you confidence and you will make it a way of life, and make it come naturally.

Other Things You Can Do To Appear Attractive To Her

Appear groomed - dress with care. This makes you feel secure and increases your confidence. There's nothing worse than being sloppy and then feeling inferior. It's terrible to attract a woman's attention by looking awful instead of by looking great. To her, a sloppy guy means a guy who doesn't care about himself, so obviously he's not going to care about someone else. So take care of that hair, and the rest of you.

Don't appear nervous. And try not to smoke before or while meeting her. You may think it makes you look confident, but it doesn't. And I don't know any woman who loves bad breath, yet!

Talking nonstop is irritating. It makes you look nervous and not in control of yourself. Instead, ask interesting questions, encouraging her to talk, too. It makes a great impression when you area good listener. And you appear more interesting to her when she realizes she's done most of the talking.

Confidence has to show from within. So think along those lines, only then will it show in your actions. Your facial expressions will show it, and so will your posture. You will not slouch. Instead you will stand erect and ready for anything, with pleasure. Self-talk helps. Tell yourself you look fabulous today and feel good about yourself. And it is easier to do, when you actually do look good, which is where the grooming comes in.

It's what the experts call 'programming for success'. When you make it a habit, it comes spontaneously.

There are many body language signals that can make a significant difference to your success with girls:

• The way you walk

• The way you stand

• Your gestures

There is one body language signal that is most important when picking up girls and leaving a lasting impression. It is one of the first things that people notice and the one they will remember the most. It is your smile.

The amazing thing about a smile is the large effect it can make. A normal guy can suddenly become likeable by putting on a smile. Mr normal guy can also become sexier just by smiling. As an example, just try to think of the last time you saw a model without a smile.

The idea that a smile can win over a heart is not new. It is commonly practised and performed by actors, politicians and even the smooth talking salesman who talked you into your last big purchase.

A smile improves your chances with girls by telling them "I am happy, being around me will make you happy". A smile is the biggest girl magnet.

Certain body language may be exhibited for reasons other than sexual attraction. For example, a certain posture or attitude may be struck out of habit, for the sake of comfort or because of nervousness. real body reversers will learn how to interpretate correctly the various signals. In other words: don't start getting too hot if a girl gives you the "shoulder look", may be you'r just a pain in her neck.

• Women toss their hair, whether short or long, briskly from side to side, over a shoulder, or away from the face to indicate preening. Hair is removed from face to leave it exposed for male admiration.
• Sometimes with partially closed eyelids, the woman holds the man's gaze just long enough for him to notice, then she quickly looks away. This has the tantalizing feeling of peeping or being peeped at, and can light the fires of most normal men.
• Women also use the sideways glance to show interest. This glance involves looking at the man through partially closed eyelids, but dropping the gaze a moment after it has been noticed.
• Licking the lips, slightly pouting the mouth, or applying cosmetics to moisten or redden the lips all are indicators ofa courtship invitation. Unconsciously imitating the appearance of sexually stimulated and receptive female genitals.
• Slight exposure of the shoulder from a partially fallen blouse is again an example of "flirting." Rae Dawn Cong said it best: "You can seduce a man without taking anything off...without even touching him." This revealed shoulder is one example. Also the "shoulder look": Looking at the man behind over a raised shoulder is typical self-mimicry: the shoulder resembles the breast and so is sexually inviting.
• When women massage their necks or head with one hand, it has the effect of raising the breast on one side of the body intensifying cleavage. It also exposes the armpit, which, even when shaved, has an erotic significance.
• A female interested in making a subtle courtship gesture might gradually expose the smooth, soft skin of her wrists. The wrist area has long been considered one of the highly erotic areas of the body. In this position, the palms of a woman are also made visible to the male. This is an unconscious invitation to caress.
• Playing with any cylindrical object such as a pencil, pen, stem if wineglass or finger is a reflection of subconscious desires.
• Sometimes women will even accentuate the roll in their hips when walking in front of a male they want to attract.
• When a woman sits with one leg tucked under the other and points the folded leg toward the person whom she wants to attract, the message communicated is, "I feel very comfortable with you. I'd like to get to know you better."
• Women tend to stand with their legs apart with weight on one foot, when displaying a sign of openness or availability. This draws attention to genital area. (Of course this may also be a feeling of superiority, aggressive or impatience as well, duh)
• Slowly crossing or uncrossing the legs while being watched by an interested male is a strong attraction signal, especially when the female is slightly stroking her thigh.
• Women entwine their legs to draw attention. Most men agree that the leg twine, (one leg is pressed firmly against the other to give the appearance of high muscle tone which the body displays when it is ready for sexual intercourse) is the most appealing sitting position a woman can take. (Of course also: nervousness, shyness, defensiveness, duh)
• Once the legs are crossed, sometimes a woman begins to slightly kick her top leg back and forth. this kicking or thrusting, again, displays a courtship signal.
• Dangling one shoe while seated in a relaxed position, with one leg crossed over the other knee, is one of the most intense courtship signals woman use to indicate interest in a male. Phallic mimicry, as the foot makes tiny thrusting movements with the dangling shoe.
• Even when a woman keeps time to music with her head and hands, leans forward towards a male, or even brushes the male's body with her hand or breast, she is still conveying effective courtship gestures.

Steepling

The palms of the hands face each other and the fingertips touch, forming a shape rather like a church steeple. This is a characteristic gesture that people make, usually while seated, when feeling especially confident during a conversation. There are several variants:

1. The high steeple

Both elbows rest on a table or desk and the forearms are raised,so that the steepling fingers point upwards (Academics, Doctors, Lawyers while delivering an 'expert' opinion).

2. The low steeple

Both elbows rest on the arms of a chair or the tops of the steepler's thighs, with the forearm pointing forwards and the fingertips steepling between the thighs or knees. Most women steeple this way: in their laps if seated, at waist level if standing.

3. The concentrated (poker player's) steeple

The hands steeple while hidden under a table, for instance. This tends to occur when an individual wants to hide his or her confident feelings. Poker players may betray that they have a good hand like this.

4. The semi-steeple

When sitting, the steepler places the arms in the low steepling position and the hands in the lap. The fingers of one hand clasp the back of the other, which is CLOSED, and forming a fist, its knuckles opressed into the upper hand's palm. This is a far ùmore subtle indication of confidence than the full steepling gestures.

Defensive hand and arm gestures

Crossing the arms in front of the body is an almost instinctive attempt to protect the heart and lungs against threat (Remember "the contrary position" as well: the 'hands behind the back' walkabout by teachers or police on foot patrol, holding the head high and both hands clasped behind the back has a precise meaning: this leaves the body vulnerable front area unprotected and signals a combination of superiority and self-assurance).

Basic crossed arms

Both arms are folded across the chest with one forearm crossing the other, so that one hand rests on an upper arm and the other arm is tucked between elbow and chest. We tend to do this whenever we feel slightly anxious, for instance standing in a crowded lift or in a queue.