Dating can be confusing for men. Should you focus on showing you’re a nice guy or aim to come across as and macho and strong?

Dating guides might encourage you to impress her with grand romantic gestures and unbounded admiration, but we know what women really want when dating, and it might surprise you! Here are the top four surprising traits which impress women when dating.

1. No grand gestures (just the smaller ones will do)

When we think of romance it can often conjure up images of grand gestures which will sweep a woman off her feet. While a giant bouquet of roses or an unexpected weekend in Paris are not to be sniffed at, you cannot buy a woman’s affection - it is the smaller gestures which will lead to approval.

Holding a door open for the person you are dating (in the right circumstances) shows good manners without being over the top. Try to emphasise your respect without making too much of a fuss – she will notice the little things and you will be able to keep up this behaviour over time (while too many mini-breaks could leave you bankrupt!)

2. An element of challenge

A lot of very good men fall down unnecessarily here with dating. Women love to be looked after to some extent, but don’t really need to have their every whim catered to by a man who quite obviously adores them from day one.

While treating a woman well is one thing, being an absolute pushover is never all that attractive, and this is the reason many ‘nice guys’ aren’t the ones who are the luckiest when it comes to dating. There is an element of ‘the thrill of the chase’ for both sexes, so bear this in mind and try not to put the woman you are dating on a pedestal straight away – let her impress you, too!

3. A stubborn streak

The woman you are dating might give the impression she wants you to change, but let her wrap you around her little finger and you could discover, changes made, that she’s lost interest after all. This is because most women, deep down, are a lot happier knowing their partner is a strong man who can speak up for himself.

If she does ask you to change, be very wary of doing it. That is, unless it’s a change you wanted to make anyway (like stopping smoking! That’s always a good idea). Try to stay true to yourself, while looking after her needs where you can, and she’ll respect you more for it.

4. Being unavailable

This does not equate to not calling back – that’s just rude! But a certain amount of unavailability can make for a longer lasting relationship. She might think she wants you to be around all the time but a little time apart can do wonders to keep the spark going between you.

If you aim to keep up your usual activities, such as meeting your friends and family or spending time on your hobbies, this should give enough down-time to your relationship to keep it burning hot when you’re together.

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