Question:

A female relative of mine flirts using body language such as eye contact when her husband is not looking at her. She even laughs at my jokes. What I cant understand is, is she teasing me or is she really interested in me?

At one time while she and her husband were in the same room as me, she adjusted her bra over her tee-shirt. Only I could see her do this adjusting off her bra.

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Response:

Although laughing at your jokes can be a sign of flirting, by itself it is just something polite that people can do.

The adjustment of her clothing could also be something innocent or a quick tidy up when her husband is not looking. It really depends how it is done. It means more if she holds eye contact with you while adjusting her clothing. If she does not make eye contact it is quite innocent.

There is always the chance she is flirting with you, but this is often just a game. Some older married women like to prove that they still have was it takes to get a younger man's interest.

Don't be too quick to rule out that she is just bored and it is just something to do.

Really you need to be able to judge her character. Is she the type of girl who would be faithful to her partner? Then she just playing or you are over-analysing. If she is not the fully faithful type, then she could be flirting with a goal in mind.

Every now and then we all write bad blog posts. It is bound to happen to all blog owners and writers alike. Blog posts can be bad for various reasons:

• Incorrect statements

• Bad grammar or spelling

• Lack the interest factor

When these errors occur, we normal just fix them. If the post is really bad we are left to decide if we want to keep the post on our site. So how do we get ourselves into this situation?

Demand

When you have been posting regularly for sometime your users can begin to expect you to make the same number of posts each week. I am sure that if you have been posting for sometime now, you must have a regular method to check that your posts are up to scratch. What about people trying to build up a new blog?

When you create a new blog, you need lots of new content to attract regular readers and also the search engines. Without this new content all the time your blog does not attract any attention. This leaves you with a great need for new content.

With such a great need for new content people tend to publish incomplete posts on their blog. They hurry, miss out important points and post a bad blog post.

No idea

The other reason that a blog post can go bad is that the writer did not start with a good idea in the first place. When you have nothing to write about you can end up writing about the first thing that comes to your mind. These last moment ideas are often sub-standard and have not been fully thought through.

Improving your blog post

The key to better blog posts is to make sure that you always use good ideas and keep up with demand. Of course this is easier said than done. Here are a few ideas to help you:

Hire staff

If you have the finances to hire other people this may be a good move. Hire people that do the things that you can not do so well or not have time for.

Pay external writers

If you do not have the money to hire staff you may want to consider paying contractors and external writers to write your blog posts for you. If you want to write the blog posts yourself, you may be able to get them to do other things for you to free up some of your time.

Write down ideas

Great ideas are like lightning, they only strike once (That is why you brainstorm right?). When you do have a great idea for another blog post write it down. Have a pen with you all the time so that you can build up a large collection of ideas.

Get a good nights sleep

Make sure that you are getting enough sleep. Without a good nights sleep you can not expect to be able to fully concentrate and stay focused.

Write about whatever is on your mind

You must be thinking of something at the moment. It might be what to have for dinner or where to go on a date. There is nothing wrong with using a blog post to think things though and plan your life.

Organise your schedule

If you still do not have enough time to write, then you need to change you schedule. Decide what is important and what is not. If you are too slow writing blog posts late at night, you might just have to get up early in the morning to write them.

Proof read your blog posts later

Read your blog posts through later, a least a few hours after you have written it. You will be better at picking up mistakes when you have had a break from writing it.

The following would have to be the 3 main reasons why she hasn’t been calling you.

Have a read through them and you may be surprised by what you read and find out. Then you can change the way you go about some things and you will be having ladies calling you 24/7!!!

Seeming too pushy

One of the main reasons that she probably hasn't called you yet is that she doesn't want to seem too pushy. Therefore resulting in waiting for you to make the next move. If you don't contact her within say, 3 days, that would most likely be taken as a sign that you weren't really that interested in her. Something like that would definitely not make her want to call you.

If you have been on a few dates already and everything has been fine, start thinking about things like...

"Why am I always the one calling first" OR

"Was I always the one making the plans to do things" etc.

That may be indication that she wasn't overly interested in YOU from the first date, and maybe continued seeing you to see if there was something more between you. After realizing there wasn't, she has been trying to drop you a hint by not calling. Sorry guys but there is no point sugar coating a good possible reason why she isn't calling you. Nobody is perfect!

Just not interested

As the heading suggests, she just may not be interested in you, full stop. Which is fair enough considering that 2 single individuals out of the whole entire world need to find each other and live happily ever after. Makes it a bit harder huh? It can be done though! So if she doesn't end up calling you after the first date and you are too frustrated from waiting around, take it as a sign that she is not the one for you. You then have to get her out of your system and start looking for someone that will return to you what you give them. That is ALWAYS a good sign!

It doesn’t matter if you find out that she wasn’t interested in you, not everybody will like you in that way but there is no reason why you still can’t be friends.

Yes I know that is the sentence that guys hate the most, but sometimes that’s just how it works out. You may not find a lover from your date, but you may find a new found friend that is of the opposite sex to you and then you will not have to read articles such as this to find answers. You will have a real life dating bible next to you!

It's the guys job

A lot of women still believe that the guy should make the first move and call her after a date. Newsflash! Old fashioned tenancies don't fly! But alas, some women stick to what they believe (there is nothing wrong with sticking to what you believe) and they will not call you after a date. They figure "Well if he really liked me then he would call". This sentence is oh so true and so many women will resort to it in this situation. Women can be very stubborn (as can men) and there is no way you will be getting a follow up call from her…. forget about it! Who cares? Move on! She is probably high maintenance anyway! Times have changed since 1928 and women actually do call men first, so if your new lady friend hasn’t called you yet, cut your losses and look for someone else. If she really enjoyed your company in the first place then she would have no problem in contacting you first.

What a silly question. There shouldn’t be one of you that is in control and the other one that is the “follower”. There should be equal control in a relationship. That is probably the most important thing to keep in mind. If the balance is out then that is when problems start. A woman (well most) like to know that the man they are with is protective over them. In the sense that they often ask how they are feeling and how their day was. Genuinely caring for their well being. It means a lot more to woman then you may think when a man asks them questions like that. It shows that you are and are honestly interested in those little details. Do not be too full on and clingy about it. Like men, women can feel smothered by it as well.

Some women like to be the one "in control" of the relationship. They are into all the new age hype about women not needing a man to do almost anything for them anymore, except marry them and give them children to feel fulfilled in life. Actually, that probably isn't the best way to say it. Women just feel that they don't need a man to do things like pay most of the bills, be the sole provider for the family, set up the the entertainment system or even build a piece of furniture.

There is no real right or wrong answer to this question. Some men like to be in control and do all the things like be the bread winner. In relationships like that, the woman sees it as a great quality in her man which is why probably why she chose to be with him in the first place. A real reliable family man. All women like that!

Then you get the woman that wants to do basically everything by herself to prove that she is capable and doesn't really need you. They are the kind that you should stay away from. They will only intimidate you and cause problems that should never even have to explode into something more than a little argument. Most women like that are career driven anyway and will probably never find a man that fits their 'requirements' and settle down. Oh well that is their loss right? You can do better anyway!

Some guys might like that their woman is like that. It means that they won't always have to pay for dinner or the movie tickets and popcorn (which is getting pretty expensive these days!)

In conclusion to this topic guys, the best way to find out who should be in control of your relationship is to first find out what role you want to play in the relationship and which role your woman wants to play. If you cannot successfully do that, then all hope is lost for your romance together.

Find the balance and you will be fine.

It is very common for people to have a dating disaster. Not everybody is compatible with one another. There ARE ways you can get around this rut that people often find themselves in when it comes to dating.

If you have a dating disaster, don't look at it as a fault of yours as a reason that it didn't work out. If you were trying to annoy your date and make her leave because you knew from the moment she opened her mouth that it would not work, that is ok. You are not going to sit through a 2 hour date if you are not interested are you? Maybe she was too boring or too loud, or any other reason why you would want her to leave before the date was meant to be over. That is something that you don't really have to recover from because it was you're own choosing to end the date sooner then anticipated.

Ladies will more often then not have a plan B if they are going on a first date, like a code or a sign that she does not think it is working. Usually she will get a friend of hers to give her a call at a certain time and give the magic code word if you are decent or not. If she is still sitting and talking with you after the phone call then see it as "YOUR IN!" Whereas if she says she has to leave after the phone call....take a hint, she isn't interested in you and you will probably never see her again. Big deal! You wouldn’t want to be with someone that needs somebody else’s help to bail them out of a failing date.

However, if it was reversed and you were the one that wasn’t interested in your date, you could always just do the famous runner. A lot of men still do that to this day, just leave their date sitting there alone waiting for you to come back from the bathroom or from using the pay phone.

There is nicer ways to do it though. You could always just stick the date out and then when it is over, do not give her any ideas that you will be calling her or anything. Just say something like “it was nice meeting and getting to know you” If she says something like “You should call me sometime or I will call you”. Reply with a “yeah, sounds good”.

It doesn’t tell her that you are going to call her or not so then you don’t have to feel guilty when you don’t end up calling her. If you do not want her calling you, save her number in your phone and when she calls you, just don’t answer. Or if you can get around it, try and get out of giving it to her until the end of the date. She might turn out to be a decent girl. If not, stick with the ignoring her calls, she will eventually get the hint, unless you have found yourself a new crazy stalker. If that ends up being the case… Good luck!

There is no real guide line to go by for this subject because if you are going to go to all the effort to plan a perfect date, it should be YOUR individual vision of how you would like it to be. It also depends on how well you know the woman before the date. I suppose the better you know her, the easier it will be to plan because then you will know what she likes and dislikes. You don't want to be pushing the wrong buttons.

First impressions last. They may never be spoken of again in the future but they will always be remembered. So make yours one to remember.

Plan something simple and tasteful. Movies are usually a no go unless you plan on having lunch or dinner afterwards. The reason seeing a movie as a first date is not the best idea is because you can't really talk to each other. You both are too busy watching what is on the screen. After the movie you can both maybe grab a bite to eat and the movie can be your ice breaker if things get a little quiet.

A long drive and a picnic is always a good idea too. Not too long a drive though! Max. 1hr. The places that take longer to get to are usually the ones you will be wanting to take your date. A few reasons for this is that you can have decent and in depth talks on the way and get to know each other a little better, there will usually be a nice bit of scenery to look at on your drive, and most far away places are the ones with a great view, are quiet and peaceful.

It is totally up to the individual and how you would like your 'perfect date' to go. Maybe you would feel more comfortable just talking over a cup of coffee.

A date doesn't have to last a few hours, although it is a great sign if it is and it isn't struggling! If your date lasts under 1 hour then maybe you will want to go over it in your own time and try and pin point where it all went downhill. Maybe you only had a 30 minute lunch break at work and you both have decided to meet up and have a mini date. That isn't included in the 1 hour rule!

Either way, a woman will appreciate it and yourself more if they know that you have put all of the plans for your date together yourself. It shows them the sort of person you are, and that is a great impression (if they like what they see date set up wise). So grab a pen and paper and start writing down any ideas you have for your perfect date. It will make it easier for you when the time comes.

You might even have a few different ideas for the different types of woman to choose from.

Better get cracking on your ideas then guys!

A lot of women will have their own list of what things turn them off a guy, but the following would have to be the most common. Read them carefully and take notes.

Swearing like a trooper

Try and control yourself from any profanity. It makes you seem like less of a respectable guy and she may get offended by it. If you feel the need to curse, substitute the bad word for a nicer word. Hopefully you will not be talking about anything that will give you this need in the first place. Talking about your likes on a first date is much more better and appropriate then talking about the things you dislike and feel the need to swear about.

It is always good to get into nice habits that better yourself anyway. Swearing only impressed your classmates back when you were 15. Nobody will respect you at this age if you continue that trend.

Eating with your mouth open

Nobody thinks this is attractive. If you can manage it, chew with your mouth closed. She doesn’t want to see what is inside your mouth. If you are at a restaurant or something similar, order something that you can eat in small portions. That way you won’t have to try and shove it all in your mouth at once and then have trouble chewing and swallowing it that you start to chew with your mouth open

Burping is a big turn off as well. If you need to release one, go into the nearest bathroom and do it there (along with the other kind of burp). Do not tell her that is what you are going there for. Just excuse yourself for the bathroom. It would be nice to think that guys knew this for themselves. You will all learn one day!

Checking out other women

Expect a slap in the face or for your date to just get up and leave you there. It is obvious why this would be a big turnoff for a woman. It would have to be the worst actually. It shows your date instantly that you are not only focused on her, you’re focused on the hot blonde walking behind her as well. If you are on a date with someone that you really like (hopefully you wouldn’t be looking at others), treat them like they are the only other person there. Not so much that it freaks her out, just enough to show her how interested you are. It is a winner everytime.

In conclusion guys, THINK about you’re actions before and during you’re date. Don’t be a big fake about it either. That is a turn off for some too. Pretending to be someone you’re not.

Be honest about who you are (if you are a frequent profanity user etc) but not over the top.

Keep a note of all that has been said on this subject and it will make all the difference. Memorize all the DON’T’S and you will be fine.

The internet would have to be the most popular way to meet a partner these days. There are many different dating sites where you can basically pick "the one" for you. All you need to do is fill out a profile of yourself and then fill out a profile for the kind of woman you are trying to attract. Women will then search the site for men that fit the description that they have originally filled out when they signed up. If you have what they are looking for then they will send you a message and you can let your love blossom.

You can even do refined searches to look for women of a certain age, location, height etc. You can also search specifically for women that have pictures or a web cam. It is probably best to search for ladies with a webcam because then you are able to see what they really look like and to see if they have been lying in their profile. It is also fair that you have a webcam connected yourself to return the favor.

The internet is quite an effective way to meet partners which is why most single people are turning to it. It is safe, secure and more comfortable then having to spot them in a club and then find the guts to go up and speak to her. A few people out there still think that the internet is not safe, which is true for some cases but not for internet dating. Not if you go to the right sites anyway.

If you think that the internet is the "losers" way of meeting women then think again. Before even signing up, you may want to check out and read the success stories from that particular site. You will be surprised at how many there are. Maybe even one day you will have your own success story to put up there.

Clubs and Pubs.. I don’t think you can go wrong here. Many relationships start after a night at a pub or club.

The atmosphere is easy going and most other people there are like yourself, looking for a partner. Although in some cases, and it is a shame to say this, one night stands.

They too can SOMETIMES form into something more but I think that we all agree that it hardly ever works out that way. It is best not to promote that behavior so I will change the subject in a few lines time. A woman that is also interested in a one night stand may sound terrific at the time but in the long run, you will most likely get hurt and she won’t be worth your time. A bit of advice… Stick to the nice gals! You will be able to tell them apart from the one night stand type.

But yes, your best bet is either the internet or a club. Keep in mind though that you can find love almost anywhere these days. Even at the corner store if you’re lucky!

It is always a good thing to act confident and have fun on your date. Just as long as you aren't TOO confident. Most ladies will just see you as a try hard jerk and never want to see or hear from you again.

Having fun would have to be the key though. I mean, who doesn't like having fun? Even if through the whole date you have only established each others names, age, location and pets because you were both too busy laughing at (probably your lame jokes!). Who cares! If you both have fun on your date then she will most likely want to see you again and that is when you can both catch up on the more important things about each other.

Now, about acting confident...

It is always a plus on a date because most women don't like the shy type. If you are shy however, you may want to practice "picking yourself up" in a mirror. You may feel and look like a total idiot doing it but at least then you can get an idea of how you will be coming across to her. Being shy is nothing to be ashamed of or feel down about. There are women out their that like they shy guys and think that it is really cute. In some cases it could work as an advantage towards you. Most shy guys are seen as “the good ones”. Although there are people that say to watch out for them!

If you are a confident guy naturally, limit yourself. A lot of men will make the mistake of offering to their date what they have as possessions, trying to build themselves up to sound all successful and all that jazz. Fair enough that being a successful man is great, but you don't need to make it sound like that is all you have to offer her if you were to pursue something more.

For example..

If you have a high paying or decent paying job and own a nice car. Expand on the sentence " Hey babe, I'm a lawyer and I drive a ferrari" (I'm not saying all guys speak like that but a majority of you do). Try explaining to them how much you enjoy being a lawyer and why. One of your reasons can be that you get to drive and afford expensive cars. Ahh! Now doesn't that sound better?

Being over confident could either make or break you possible future romance. From most women’s point of view.. It would BREAK!

Just remember to be yourself and not to try so hard. Being yourself will never go wrong though. Yes maybe being yourself will not see you a second date, but if she doesn’t accept you for who you are, then what kind of future will you have together? You do not want someone that is only with you for what you have possessions wise and couldn’t care less how you are as a person. You want someone that is with you for the person you are.

The question has had men scratching their heads for centuries – What is it women want? No amount of research has given a final answer. No wonder! Women are as different as men. Some are attracted to robust body types, some like them slim. Some want a guy with piercings and tattoos, others without. One girl's dream guy can dance all night, another's can finish a novel in one evening.

Confusing? Not really. It simply means that there are so many preferences, everyone has a match out there. That's good news!

However, there seems to be a few traits the majority of women find attractive and look for in a future partner.

Appealing looks and an individual style

Some women are hesitant to mention physical attractiveness when they talk about potential partners, but it does play a role. Fortunately, their preferences in this respect vary greatly, sometimes even from one relationship to the next.

Nevertheless, many list white, healthy teeth and a well-groomed appearance high up on the list. Landing a dashing dresser with an individual style is also important to some. Cleanliness is however essential - good hygiene is an absolute must when dealing with the opposite sex.

Stable finances

While it may seem like riches and fame attracts women, a recent internet study done by klikk.no, a Norwegian e-magazine, suggests that they look for stability. 81 percent listed income as unimportant or of little importance. A high salary and a fat bank account is not a necessity when it comes to romance and dating, in other words. However, more than 80 % said good credit rating and responsible budgeting as vital.

Confidence and charm

There is no doubt that charismatic personalities tend to attract more women. Self-confident with a positive outlook on life is mentioned and valued by many.

It also helps if you know what you want and aren't afraid to voice it. Apparently, the “weaker sex” loves opinionated guys who willingly share their feelings or dive into an intelligent discussion. Equally important is being a good listener and kindness. Women want to be respected, appreciated and heard by their partners.

Close to all women set “a good sense of humour” as one of their criteria. Good is a relative term, the important part is that it matches hers. If you make the woman of your dreams laugh, you are well on your way to being her ideal date.

Attention and romance

The chick-flicks aren't lying – women love romance. While it doesn't necessarily have to involve expensive dates or a hundred red roses, it does require your full attention and care. Small, personal presents and light pampering is all it takes for most women to feel special. Sincere compliments that make her feel good about herself are important, both when flirting and when you are in an established relationship.

Opposites do not attract

People tend to find partners similar to themselves, a research by Cornell University in New York concluded. Women want a stable relationship and achieve this by picking partners who share their values and interests.

The survey mentioned wealth and status, family commitment, physical appearance and sexual fidelity. When asked, many women also added shared religion and similar hobbies as strategic choices they made when looking for a boyfriend or husband.

Be desirable, but stay faithful

According to a study done by University of Aberdeen, women are drawn to males desired by other women. When a man was smiled at by other females he appeared more attractive. They see it as a sign he is a quality male and change their initial impression accordingly.

That being said, almost all women asked looked for monogamous relationships and faithful men. They want to feel secure and safe. Even though an internet survey by MSNBC.com/iVillage suggested as many as 21 % of all participants had cheated on their current partner, fidelity is still high on the check list for most.

Chemistry in bed

There is no doubt sex is important – also to women. While a good relationship is a requirement for good sex, satisfying sex is also a requirement for a satisfying relationship. Being a good lover is not determined by skill or physical knowledge, but rather by your ability to adapt to and connect in the bedroom.

“Chemistry” is a word used by many and involves a number of things. Physical attraction, emotional connection and the love you have for each other will help when taking a relationship to the next level.

Women tend to describe a man who is caring and aware of her needs when asked what makes a good lover.

The bad boy myth

It is said that nice guys finish last, but it really depends where you draw the finish line. A scientific study by the New Mexico State University suggests that narcissistic and manipulative men tend to have more sex partners than other males their age. However, they suspect this is caused by the amount of encounters these men have with women. They come on to more women and therefore have an increased chance of success.

When it comes to picking long term partners women favour men who will make good fathers – at least most of the time. Research done by Charles University in Prague shows that women choose responsible and caring men when they are single or not ovulating. During ovulation, however, women in relationships preferred the scent of dominant males.

Be yourself

There is nothing wrong with self-improvement. However – sincerity, confidence and a great, big smile will get you well on your way to being someone's dream date. Be the best that you can be, but be yourself.

A successful date depends on many factors. While what you actually do and how well you plan it can have an effect, chemistry and spontaneity is equally as important.

We all wish to leave a lasting impression on those we date. The most efficient way of doing this is to make sure your partner has a good time. Whether they love watching movies at home or eating sushi at a fancy restaurant, you should aim for fulfilling their wishes and not your own.

Take your love interest's personality and hobbies into account when you plan the details of your future date. Also make sure that you prepare her sufficiently for what is in store. While a lot of people enjoy surprises, it is not fun to show up in high heels and a short dress for a hike in the forest.

THE FUN-LOVING

Laughing together is a bonding experience. You can safely assume your date has been successful if she laughs and has fun. Who doesn't want to end the night in high spirits with a smile on their face? Being entertained will also take the pressure off both of you and avoid awkward silence.

Go wall climbing

Maybe there is a climbing wall in your area open for the public? It doesn't matter if neither of you have done it before, you can learn together. You can also enjoy the beautiful view while you spot her.

Play video games

Visit an arcade and play together. Racing games where you can compete side by side or air hockey to face each other head on should get you laughing and bonding in no time.

Cover her in paint

Check if there is a paintball field near you and lure out your date's competitive edge. Nothing says love like firing paint at each other, right?

Sign up for a dance class

Salsa, ballroom or tango; anything that will get you close to each other and having fun. If she is a good sport she will love your initiative and chances are you can make use of your newfound skills during a future date.

THE CULTURAL

If she is interested in culture, you may want to share an experience with her. Going to a concert, a movie or a play will give you something to talk about over dinner afterwards.

Go to a jazz club

Live music, good drink and a nice atmosphere may secure the success of your date. It helps if you know a little about the music, as it will spark conversation and give you a chance to impress.

Visit a local art exhibit

Local artists need your support and you may even find a new favorite photographer, painter or sculptor in your own area. The best cultural experiences come when you widen your horizons and do something different than your regular routine. Afterwards you can bash or praise the exhibit with your date.

Take her to a book signing

If she loves to read and you know her taste in books, surprise her by taking her to a book signing you think she will like. It is also the perfect excuse to give her a little gift, as she will need a copy of the book. Make sure you sign it as well, it will be a great memory later on.

THE ROMANTIC

Romance can be so much more than candle lights and fireplaces, though both will help you set the right mood. Whether you want to go all out or keep it intimate, the key is to make your date feel truly special. Good romance requires both planning and spontaneity.

Take her to watch the sunrise/sunset

Nothing screams romance like spending the beginning or end of a day together. This idea requires a spot with a beautiful view where you can be alone together, such as the local beach or park.

Hot air balloon ride

A hot air balloon ride can be a wonderful and romantic experience, assuming neither you or your date is afraid of heights. Bring a picnic basket or a bottle of wine and enjoy the unique view from high up.

A night at a hotel

Book a room (or two) at a classy hotel not too far away. Call in advance and make sure that strawberries and champagne is waiting for you for that “Pretty Woman” feel. For dinner you order in room service. Intimate and romantic, though expensive.

THE ADVENTUROUS

Maybe you both enjoy the thrill of the outdoors? Then camping, sailing or rock climbing might be right up your alley. Just make sure she is dressed for the occasion and fit to join you in your adventure.

Serve her a three-course meal in the woods

There is no reason to forget the romance just because you have taken her camping. Plan ahead and cook a three-course meal over the bonfire. She is likely to be impressed, however simple you make each dish.

Bungee jumping

Feel the rush of the wind on your faces and watch the ground approach at amazing speed. Maybe you can even jump together?

Go mountain biking

Rent the bikes and take off on a bumpy ride in the forest. Any potential nervousness will disappear as you concentrate on balancing your bikes through the tracks. Make sure to bring water, her favorite snack and some band aids.

If you have ever been in love you probably have fond memories of the butterflies in your stomach, the euphoric happiness and the increased sex drive. Unfortunately, this altered state of being does not last forever; within six months to three years you will be back to your old self. What causes these emotions and the initial attraction? And why does some relationships last far beyond the first rush of feelings?

People like to claim that love comes from the soul or possibly the heart, all depending on how far they wish to push the metaphors. Realistically, it all happens in your brain and it's a chemical reaction.

In the beginning...

You see her from across the room and immediately feel you have to get to know her. Bravely you approach her and soon hours have past without either one of you noticing. What happened?

When two people are attracted to each other adrenaline-like neurochemicals start racing around in their heads, speeding up the flow of information between the nerve cells. Dopamine and norepinephrine are also created, dopamine to feel good and norepinephrine to stimulate the production of adrenaline. This process actually increases the speed blood is pumped around your body, so when you say: “She makes my heart race”, you are not speaking metaphorically. These three chemicals is what create infatuation and make you want to talk all night or have sex for hours.

Forming a relationship

It is your fourth date and you are soon to be a couple. You feel close to her emotionally, physically and romantically. What process in your brain causes you to feel so attached to a person who just recently entered your life?

Once we are in love, another booster is released: Oxytocin. Oxytocin is best known for it's role in mother-child bonding, but it also helps us form romantic relationships. This chemical has both mental and physical triggers, such as the voice of your lover or even a sexual fantasy. It prompts cuddling between partners before, during and after sex. Even better, both men and women become calmer and more sensitive to the feelings of others under the influence of oxytocin.

Happily ever after?

If “I am just not in love with you any more” or “My feelings for you have changed” sound familiar to you, then chances are you have reached phase two of your relationship.

After a period of time, the initial infatuation subsides and many couples choose to break up at this milestone. However, if you stay together a whole new group of chemicals take over. They are created by endorphins: Morphine-like opiates. When we are being constantly reassured by intimacy, dependability and shared experiences these come into play. Naturally it makes our relationship less exciting, but it will be all the more addictive. It's the lack of these chemicals that causes us to miss our loved ones when they are not with us.

Do not despair, though, if your partner is far away or you long to experience a chemical romance of your own; hot chocolate is a good replacement. It's full of that adrenaline-like neurochemical phenylethylamine.

Making small talk is a necessary skill in many aspects of life. A new friendship will in most cases start off with casual conversation about general topics, as well as business and work often requiring you to network. Even when searching for a partner you will need to master the art of small talk.

It can be challenging and seem some what meaningless, especially to introverts. However, there is no doubt you will appear more friendly and open if you manage to keep up conversations with strangers and acquaintances. All it takes is some practice and a bit of thought.

Preparation

There are many ways you can build up your confidence when it comes to small talk. One of the main problems people experience when trying to keep up a conversation is that they are unsure what to talk about. Try to think about what interests you; your hobbies, articles and books you have read lately or a new CD you bought last week. Your passions are the best source of small talk.

It also helps to widen your horizons if you want to come off as an interesting and entertaining conversation partner. Update yourself on topics that you know little about, go eat at new restaurants or watch a movie you would normally not go see.

Practice in front of a mirror on how to appear open and approachable. Smile, make eye contact and look interested. Talk to yourself about various topics to see how it goes. Try to spot your weak points and work on them.

Get started

You need to start talking, no matter how uncomfortable it makes you feel in the beginning. Practice makes perfect. You will find that the more you do it, the more natural it will come to you. Start conversing with those you come across during the course of the day. The cashier at your local bank, the person in front of you in a queue, the old woman sitting next to you on the bus. You will soon notice that not only does it brighten your day, it will probably brighten theirs as well.

The work place is a great arena for small talk. Building relationships with co-workers is rewarding in many ways. You will feel more comfortable while performing your job if you get to know your colleagues, the networking effect will help your career chances and you will come off as a social and friendly person. Did you know that a large percentage of people find their future husband or wife at work?

The possible pitfalls

Discussing religion or politics can make you seem as an opinionated and interesting person, but it may also offend those around you. If you find it hard to judge your crowd, you are better off staying away from controversial topics. Stories involving sex or rude words also have the potential to insult someone.

Make sure that you don't get too personal with strangers. Talking about how your child is doing in school is fine, telling someone about your horrible ex is not. Avoid subjects that can make your conversation partner feel uncomfortable.

Perfecting your art

To be a good talker, you need to be a good listener. Keep your attention fixed on the person you are conversing with. Letting your eyes wander around the room and seeming bored is considered rude by most people. Focus on being an active listener; ask follow up questions and make comments relating to what they are talking about.

At most social gatherings you will benefit from keeping chats short and sweet. When it is time to move on you should excuse yourself politely. If you go to fill up your drink, make a trip to the bathroom or sit down to have some food, ending your current conversation will come naturally. Either way, make your goodbye civil and respectful. It may help to memorize a few exit lines: “I see a friend of mine over there, I should go and say hello”, “Let me refresh our drinks” or “I guess we should mingle a bit” will be sufficient.

Things to think about when meeting your girlfriend's friends:

• Dress nicely
• Be polite and respectful
• Try to remember their names
• Smile
• Act confident
• Show interest in what they say
• Try to learn more about them
• Compliment your girlfriend in front of them
• Relax and stay calm

Recently I had a visitor make a comment on my site about one of my articles. He said:

Your advice seems great, but it kinda falls through if you're a social outcast, pessimistic, and suffer from low self esteem and little confidence. Every time I try to flirt I end up feeling so foolish, aloof, self loathing. What would you suggest I do? I love being social, but I always feel out of place and awkward around others. But I'm tired of sleep waking through life and being a bachelor, so any assistance you could provide would be most appreciated. ^[2]

One thing that I think this guy needs to work on is self image. We have all had negative feeling about ourselves or have had times when we were not confident. What most of us do not realise is that how we feel about ourselves is how we appear to others . If you feel sad, you are not going to make the type of fun conversation that is required for flirting.

If we see ourselves as a social outcast, pessimistic, suffering from low self esteem and having little confidence, what chance is there that anyone else will see us in a different light. Although it may be hard, you need to first see that you have nothing to lose.

Once you realise that you have nothing to lose , you have no reason to avoid participating in activities. The next step is to think about the kind of man that you would like to be. Watch a few James Bond 007 movies if you need a few ideas. Just listen to the confidence that James Bond has. Wouldn't you like to have the same personality as James Bond?

Next time you are out, pretend that you a James Bond . Not in the action sense, but rather his manners and the way he carries himself. Your a smooth talking, sharp dressing guy . What ever emotions you have are hidden away from the world. If you find this too hard, perhaps you need more practice. To build up your confidence try:

• Taking classes in public speaking,
• Taking dance lessons,
• Memorise current events (for conversations starters).

We are who we perceive ourselves to be . Just change the way you perceive yourself to change the person you are. If you look this another way, you need to be happy with who you are before you can appear confident.

A good example is when one of my friends was talking to a mechanic. After 20 years of driving expensive v8 cars, they were now driving a cheap small car. They talked to the mechanic as if they were ashamed of driving a cheap small car, and they left the conversation feeling down. What they should have done is pretended to feel passionate about their cheap small car. Their voice would then sound passionate and this creates interest. Why is this person so passionate about a cheap small car? Perhaps you saved money for that world trip while driving a small car to save the environment.

Life is an interesting thing. Everything about it is interesting. You have read this article from an internet connection. That means you have something. Live every day happy that you are not someone who has nothing. By doing this you will not be pessimistic, and will see life in a better light.

Eye contact is an important part of making a connection with someone you care about, but staring will make you seem odd. Here are some ideas to make eye contact easier.

• Do not stare - You just want to glance at her and catch her eye.
• Relax - Be casual about it and it will be easier not to stare.
• Do not force it - Eye contact only works if she want to make eye contact as well.
• Smile - It will make you seem a nicer person.
• Not all the time - You should not hold eye contact for an entire conversation.
• Look like you are listening - Eye contact makes you look like you are listening

Only after you have had eye contact with her should you "check her out". As you are holding eye contact, glance at her body and then make eye contact again. It should happen as quickly as possible and you are not staring at her body.

Keeping your eyes off her body

It is hard to if you are looking at her too much. One rule that can help is the 30 second rule. Do not look at her more than once every 30 seconds unless she is speaking. Also if you look at her body for 10 seconds and have not made eye contact, you are staring.

Making small talk is a necessary skill in many aspects of life. A new friendship will in most cases start off with casual conversation about general topics, as well as business and work often requiring you to network. Even when searching for a partner you will need to master the art of small talk.

It can be challenging and seem some what meaningless, especially to introverts. However, there is no doubt you will appear friendlier and open if you manage to keep up conversations with strangers and acquaintances. All it takes is some practice and a bit of thought.

Preparation

There are many ways you can build up your confidence when it comes to small talk. One of the main problems people experience when trying to keep up a conversation is that they are unsure what to talk about. Try to think about what interests you; your hobbies, articles and books you have read lately or a new CD you bought last week. Your passions are the best source of small talk.

It also helps to widen your horizons if you want to come off as an interesting and entertaining conversation partner. Update yourself on topics that you know little about, go eat at new restaurants or watch a movie you would normally not go see.

Practice in front of a mirror on how to appear open and approachable. Smile, make eye contact and look interested. Talk to yourself about various topics to see how it goes. Try to spot your weak points and work on them.

Get started

You need to start talking, no matter how uncomfortable it makes you feel in the beginning. Practice makes perfect. You will find that the more you do it, the more natural it will come to you. Start conversing with people you come across during the course of the day. The cashier at your local bank, the person in front of you in a queue, the old woman sitting next to you on the bus. You will soon notice that not only does it brighten your day, it will probably brighten theirs as well.

The work place is a great arena for small talk. Building relationships with co-workers is rewarding in many ways. You will feel more comfortable while performing your job if you get to know your colleagues, the networking effect will help your career chances and you will come off as a social and friendly person. Did you know that a large percentage of people find their future husband or wife at work?

The possible pitfalls

Discussing religion or politics can make you seem as an opinionated and interesting person, but it may also offend those around you. If you find it hard to judge your crowd, you are better off staying away from controversial topics. Stories involving sex or rude words also have the potential to insult someone.

Make sure that you don't get too personal with strangers. Talking about how your child is doing in school is fine, telling someone about your horrible ex is not. Avoid subjects that can make your conversation partner feel uncomfortable.

Perfecting your art

To be a good talker, you need to be a good listener. Keep your attention fixed on the person you are conversing with. Letting your eyes wander around the room and seeming bored is considered rude by most people. Focus on being an active listener; ask follow up questions and make comments relating to what they are talking about.

At most social gatherings you will benefit from keeping chats short and sweet. When it is time to move on you should excuse yourself politely. If you go to fill up your drink, make a trip to the bathroom or sit down to have some food, ending your current conversation will come naturally. Either way, make your goodbye civil and respectful. It may help to memorize a few exit lines: “I see a friend of mine over there, I should go and say hello”, “Let me refresh our drinks” or “I guess we should mingle a bit” will be sufficient.

Once you have perfected your profile on an online dating site, you should start getting messages or emails from other people. The quality of the people who respond will reflect the quality of your profile. If you are not getting anyone interesting messaging you that means that your profile or your photo is not up to standard yet. You should not have to send the first message to anyone, that is the job of your profile.

As you get messages from people, you obviously should reply. Not replying is rude and inconsiderate. What you would not normally think about when replying to a message is the style of your reply. Messages can have many styles and people prefer different styles. It is your job to select the right style that the recipient will like. Selecting the correct style makes the recipient feel that you have connected with them.

Although the list of message styles is limitless, there are some major features that you really should think about. These are:

• Topic

• Funny or Serious

• Informative

• Length

Topic

The first thing that you need to think about when writing a message is the topic. The topic is not just something that you can talk about. It needs to be able to spawn a great conversation and show them that you both have something in common. A message about something that they are not interested in will just get ignored.

Finding ideas for topics is easy. There are 4 places that come to mind:

1. Things they mention on their profile

2. About them

3. About you

4. Current events

Out of these 4, I would recommend that you start by talking about something on their profile first.

Funny or Serious

The next thing that you need to decide is how funny or serious your message will be. You may think that everyone would love a funny message but this is not the case. Take a career driven woman for example. You will find that some career-focused women may like your funny messages but stop responding after a while. If you try to be too funny, she will assume that you can not be serious at all. That is not a good thing.

Informative

Informative messages are similar to the lay-off between funny and serious. On one hand you want to appear knowledgeable and intelligent, but on the other hand you do not want to sound like you are a geek that has trouble with social interaction.

Length

Some people can not read long messages as they have trouble concentrating or do not have the time. Others really like to get into reading a message and like them to last as long as possible. You need to decide what the other person would like. Once you have received an email from them, try to respond with a message that has roughly the same number of paragraphs.

Today marriage is still a big deal and time is need to be able to make the commitment needed. Living together can be a step forwards in a relationship without having the risk of divorce. It is common for relationships to be tested when you start living together and it is wise to think carefully about this step.

Many couples have questions that they would like answered before moving in. Here are a few answers to help get you thinking.

Why move in together?

This is an important question that you need to think about first. Moving in together should be a step to help strengthen an already strong relationship, not an attempt to salvage fading love. There are many reasons people start living together:

• As a step towards marriage

• Because it is the social-norm

• Save money

• Convenience

• To keep a partner you think you might be losing

You should only think about moving in together when you and your partner are looking at having a long term relationship.

Will it help our relationship?

Living with your partner has benefits as well as disadvantages. You will be living with your partner through the good times and the bad. Living together is advantageous to relationships including:

• Sharing expenses

• Sharing responsibilities

• Sharing more experiences

• Learn more about each other

• Understand each other more

With the good points also comes the bad. If your relationship is stable and built on strong foundations, you should not have a problem. You may find that moving in with your partner will mean:

• You may lose your own space

• Suddenly you can not leave on a random trip without telling your partner

• Your partner may not manage money the same way you do

• You may lose the excitement and anticipation of meeting

Living together is going to test your relationship. If it works you will have a stronger relationship, or else you may find your relationship not surviving.

You broke up with your girlfriend and now you want her back. We have all been in this situation and it is not the best feeling. Searching the net, you start hoping for website to tell you a magical cure to your problems. I am going to make this one easy for you.

Do you have a chance?

First we need to figure out if you have a chance at winning back your ex-girlfriend. This is simple to work out and only needs one answer:

Did you break it off with her?
Or did she break it off with you?

Now lets look into your answer.

She broke it off with you

Sorry, but you have very little chance of winning your girlfriend back, unless:

• Your ex-girlfriend still acts as if you are together

• Your ex-girlfriend still frequently contacts you

• Your ex-girlfriend still flirts with you

If she broke up with you, she had a reason in mind. This is not the type of thing that people decide on the spot. She would have thought about it before, maybe even for a few weeks or months. That type of decision can not be swayed by just a few words or actions.

If she knows that you still want her, she has you in her control. Never ever let her know that you would go out with her again after she plays around with another guy or two. This will just mean that you will always be waiting for her to run out of luck with every other guy on the planet.

The best thing that you can do to win your ex-girlfriend over is move on. Girls hate to see that their ex-boyfriends are happy without them. Seeing you have fun or with another girl will make her realise that she made the wrong decision.

Even though it did not work out with your ex-girlfriend, make sure that you do not go out and look for revenge. Girls talk and any revenge may lower your chances of going out with a girl that knows your ex-girlfriend.

You broke it off with her

Chances are that just a few of the right words or some romantic action will have her falling into your arms again. She will be constantly wondering what she did wrong and how she did not want to lose you. She will miss having sex with you (if you were any good) and yes girls miss sex from a relationship as much as guys do.

Men are women are very different. Us women are all about love, we are always asking ourselves that big question "does he love me?". For women love is a near instantaneous thing that we suddenly fall into. We suddenly realise that we can not live without a guy.

For guys it is different, quite different. Love for a guy is a slow process, it does not happen over a few days. It is more of a gradual unnoticed transition from lust and 'sex on the brain' to love. This transition is so slow for guys, that most guys do not notice it has happened for quite some time.

Why men want sex

The fact is that men are wired for sex. A child for a woman means that they will have to look after it for many years. When a guy fathers a child there was no reason for a long term commitment before marriage was invented.

Every child a guy has is more of his genetic code passed on. The more children that he has, the more of his traits are passed along. This has left the modern man with one subconscious drive; The drive to have as much sex as possible. This is because sex is required to father as many children as possible.

How to keep a guy

So how is a girl to keep a guy from getting with other women? Us girls need to provide the guys with the environment that they subconscious desire. We need to keep them sexually satisfied. Of course you do not want to go and have sex with every guy. You just need to make sure that you have sex with the guy you want to keep.

If you want to do something else other than sex, remember the saying that "the key to a man's heart is through his stomach". Just make sure you cook a lot for him and he will never leave.