Men are women are very different. Us women are all about love, we are always asking ourselves that big question "does he love me?". For women love is a near instantaneous thing that we suddenly fall into. We suddenly realise that we can not live without a guy.

For guys it is different, quite different. Love for a guy is a slow process, it does not happen over a few days. It is more of a gradual unnoticed transition from lust and 'sex on the brain' to love. This transition is so slow for guys, that most guys do not notice it has happened for quite some time.

Why men want sex

The fact is that men are wired for sex. A child for a woman means that they will have to look after it for many years. When a guy fathers a child there was no reason for a long term commitment before marriage was invented.

Every child a guy has is more of his genetic code passed on. The more children that he has, the more of his traits are passed along. This has left the modern man with one subconscious drive; The drive to have as much sex as possible. This is because sex is required to father as many children as possible.

How to keep a guy

So how is a girl to keep a guy from getting with other women? Us girls need to provide the guys with the environment that they subconscious desire. We need to keep them sexually satisfied. Of course you do not want to go and have sex with every guy. You just need to make sure that you have sex with the guy you want to keep.

If you want to do something else other than sex, remember the saying that "the key to a man's heart is through his stomach". Just make sure you cook a lot for him and he will never leave.

Women do not look for guys that do just the normal guy things or are your average type of guy. They want a guy who is above average and has something unique about them. It might be looks, how a guy acts or just an activity that many other guys don't do. Most of all, they are looking for signs of character in a guy.

So how does an average looking guy make girls notice him?

He takes part in an activity that the other guys do not, or has a refined character. The only way to achieve these are through self-improvement.

The easiest way to start self-improvement is to take a class. Ironicly, self improvement classes are also a great place to meet women, so it is a double win.

So what self-improvement classes can you take?

• Yoga

  • Improves your posture

  • Many gorgeous women

  • Women always outnumber men 7 to 1

  • Costs from $15 to $45 a month

• Acting

  • Improves your speech

  • Helps with body language

  • Removes all shyness

  • More girls than guys

  • Can also lead to money making possibilities

  • Costs from $50 to $250 for a basic course

• Boxing and martial arts

  • Makes you appear more masculine

  • Give you competitive energy

  • Helps you get fit and stay in shape

  • Costs from $40 to $75 a month

• Cooking

  • Learn impressive dishes for romantic dates

  • Lots of older women

  • Costs from $25 to $200 for a basic course

• Public speaking

  • Helps you overcome any shyness

  • Develop your communication skills

  • Costs from $50 to $250 for a basic course

• Salsa

  • Anyone can learn to dance

  • Lots of women

  • Never enough men

  • Close contact with women

  • Costs from $30 to $50 a month

• Massage

  • All women like massages and will jump at the chance to have one

  • Can also lead to money making possibilities

  • Costs from $50 to $200 for a basic course

When you call a girl, you want to keep her interested and not give her the wrong impression. Here are some tips that will help you leave her wanting more.

Do not make idle chit-chat

Long conversations tend to get boring and run out of topics. Instead, end the conversation and leave her wanting to talk more.

Call with a purpose

Don't call just to chat. If your aim of the phone call is to make a date, get to the point and make the date.

Talk slower

If you talk too fast, you will sound too eager. Talk in a slower and more relaxed style and you will sound like you are more authoritative.

Make things sound exciting

Do not use a boring tone of voice. Try to put more expression into your voice and make things sound happy and exciting.

Use a flirting voice

Do not speak like you would to a casual mate.

Do not leave messages

Message are something many people find annoying or do not get back to. Too many messages and you will seem too eager.

Do not call too often

She has other things she needs to do too, like work, eat and chat to friends. Calling too often can be quite annoying.

Hang up first

If she hangs up first, it is like she is trying to get you off the line. Make it seem like you have other things to do as well as talk to her.

There is one rule that you should always follow when you are meeting women on the Internet: Get the phone number and have a real date at the first possible chance.

On dating sites you will find many professional chatters. There are people who love chat and email you. They will send you a lot of emails and will sound as if they have the best intentions of meeting you, but will never give any contact information. They will use excuses and say that they want to get to know you more.

If you can not get her number, she may be:

• Already in a relationship with another guy (or many guys)

• Just playing around and not have serious intentions of dating you or having a relationship

• A man who has never had a date in his life, sitting naked in front at his computer on the other side of the world

Even when you have her phone number, you still have to be careful. Some women just love talking and want you to call them all the time. They will have no intention of meeting you in person, so only your phone company will be getting anything good out of it.

Your are not in it for a virtual girlfriend, so you need to meet her in person and take her to dinner. If she is not serious about meeting, then there is little reason to waste time on her.

Do not believe anything she tells you until you meet her in person.

Some of the messiest cars around are owned by single and divorced men. If you have a smelly, messy and overall dirty car, you can forget any hope of getting second dates.

Women like everything to be clean, and single women judge you on how clean and tidy you, your car and your place is on a first date. Making her feel dirty will leave a bad impression that is going to last. It will show her that you are disorganised, or that you do not care enough about her to clean things up before the date.

Next time you take a lady out on a date, spend a moment cleaning up your car. Wash the windows, throw out the rubbish, and empty the ash tray if you smoke.

An idea is to buy a small basket for your rubbish and organisers to keep your pens, notepad and sunglasses organised.

If you are a smoker or your car has a damp and musty smell about it, buy some air freshener. There is nothing worse than having to sit in someone else's car that stinks.

Make sure the glove compartment is also clean. Women have this habit of digging around in an attempt to find out more about you.

What is a coffee date?

A coffee date (or "drinks") is a common style of first dates made popular by the increase of people meeting through online dating. It is great to use when you have never seen the other party or you are unsure if you will click with her.

If you are setting up one of your friends to go on a blind date, make it a coffee date or something similar. This will keep both parties relaxed as they most likely are out of their comfort zones just with the idea of a blind date.

Many guys go out of their way to think up fun things to do on the first date, only to find that there is no connection, or she is not what he thought she was. The coffee date makes for easy escape if things go wrong and you should really save the fun ideas for dates later on.

Location

There is only really one place to have a coffee date and that is the most convenient coffee shop, cafe or Starbucks. The coffee shop is the best place as it is a public location for a coffee date where both you and her can feel safe. The public aspect to it helps calm down the nerves of both parties allowing for a relaxed conversation.

Who buys?

As you do not know the other party well if not at all, you should not expect to pay for their coffee. If you did pay for her coffee and show your financially frivolous side, you will be giving her the expectation that you will pay on all following dates. Make paying for her more of a treat rather than the normal thing, and it will mean more to her when you do.

One hour

The problem with many other fun things you can do on dates is that they are all time consuming. They do not allow for either party to cut the date short if things do not go to plan or if they are not what you were looking for.

You should head into a coffee date with the expectation that it will not last any longer than one hour. Any longer and you run the risk of running out of things to say or becoming boring.

After the date

Once your coffee date is over, you both leave and reflect on the coffee date. If you feel it was a success you should start thinking about a second date.

(Not you, yah wuss)

Most guys assume that if they are taking a girl out for dinner, they need to pay. This is not true, and buying dinner can have a negative impact on your chances with your date.

Here is what one girl was saying recently.

Should the guy pay for dinner?
I don't know... I kinda feel bad with him paying. Is he supposed to? I don't want to make him feel bad?

Now this is a good example as it points out 2 emotions that you do not want the girl to feeling:

• Pity
• She owes you

Pity

The quote above has a good example of pity, saying that “I kinda feel bad with him paying”. This is a bad emotion to be giving any date.

The problem with pity is that it puts her status above you. This is nearly like saying “I am not worthy”.

She owes you

If she is quite a caring girl, the act of you paying will make her feel as if she owes you something. You have gone through all this effort to arrange a date and you are now paying. She knows what most males would like to happen, and if there is no connection, she will try to leave the date at the first suitable moment.

Making it special

Don't pay on the first date, this is often what she expects and by not paying, she notices that you are not like the usual guys. When you pay on the 5^th or 6^th dates, she will start thinking “Ooo he might like me” rather than “This is how dates are done”.

This does not mean that you should start paying for all the dates. Paying for her should be once in a blue moon, and give her a rush of emotion strong enough for her to get 'high' on.

One way to make things a bit more interesting is to just do what she does not expect you to do. If she expects you pay for it, you pay half. If she gets her wallet out first, you pay for the both of you.

Having a girl flake on you is one of the most annoying things. You make a date with the girl of your dreams and you have things set. You have made sure that everything will be perfect. You have:

• Made sure the time suits her
• Picked her favorite meeting place
• Reminded her a day in advance
• Checked at the last moment, just to make sure that she will come.

Yet she still does not turn up.

Mummy, can we go to the park?

There is one key quality that women look for in a guy more often than anything else: 

Independence

Women are looking for a man to be a partner, not a child (or dependent). There is a big difference between them.

The Child

Children are unable to make informed decisions on their own. They can not be left alone for long and rely on their caregiver. Caregivers often find that looking after kids can be a full time job.

The Partner

Partners are able to make decisions independently, and will survive if left alone. They can be relied upon in times of need and know how to take charge of a situation.

So the real question is, are you trying to be more of a child or partner to her?

Become the partner

Before you start claiming that you are independent, here are some things that a dependent person would say:

• How about we go out for coffee?
• Where would you like to go for coffee?
• Are you free on Monday night?... How about Tuesday?... Surely you are free on Wednesday?
• How do you feel about me?

Now here are the same things but from a person that has independence:

• I am going out for coffee, but your free to come.
• Lets meet at Starbucks.
• If you are lucky, I might have time on Monday.
• I know you like me...

Why women flake on dates

When it comes down to it, women go on dates because they want to see if you are who they are looking for. As soon as you constantly display a lack of independence or value her opinion over your own, she starts to see you as a dependent person. As she does not find dependent people attractive, she knows you are not the one.

Your lack of independence has scared her off!

Some things to try are:

• Value your opinion (it is the one person you can trust).
• Display leadership.
• Stop asking questions.
• If unsure on something, try picking at random.
• Do not let her "no-show" ruin your plans.
• Make sure (or at least make her feel) that the party will still continue if she is not there.
• She is the one missing out.
• Do not become obsessed.

In the end, if she still flakes:

• It is her loss.
• Her turn to make the next move.
• Forget and remember that there are many more women out there.

I was talking/chatting online and my mates were talking about a dating website they had been on. One of them did not seem to have any luck and the other tried to help.

Bob:
Are you meeting many people off this dating website?

Sam:
Some. Why?

Bob:
Just wondering if anyone is actually having success.

Sam:
Are you getting any phone numbers at all?

Bob:
A few, but the conversations do not seem to go much further.

Sam:
What is the first thing you do when you get their cellphone/mobile number?

Bob:
Well, I usually text them so they know my phone number.

Sam:
And then what do you do? normally?

Bob:
Just text them a few times, give them a call about Thursday to find out what they are doing in the weekend.

Sam:
Just hang with me here, and I will see what the difference of what you do and what I do is... So what happens between you ringing them and them not replying?

Bob:
Usually ring on Thursday, then they usually text back and say they have had a better offer and dont hear back

Sam:
A better offer? So do you go for the ones that want a one night stand or go for the ones that want a relationship? (are they looking for friendship/relationships/sex or love?)

Bob:
I just message anyone.

Sam:
Well the tips I would offer you are:

• The girls that just want sex get so many messages that there is no point messaging them.
• You seem way too eager. They find that a turn off, or something like that.
• Slow down
• You need to try and be cocky/funny. Avoid most personal questions about yourself with some un-serious response.
• Do not ask them too many questions!

Just because they gave you their phone number, doesn't mean that you need to give them yours straight away. If you send them a text with in the same week, they see that you are eager. If you don't use their phone number at all, they will wonder what mistake they made. People want what they can't have. If they know they can easily have you, then you are not what they want most.

Lastly - Go for a long term relationship... The girls like that more and you don't have to keep looking all the time.

Let’s face it – a guy who lacks confidence, cant make up is mind, is wishy-washy – in short – a WIMP makes a lousy date. This kind of guy puts so much pressure on the woman they claim to care for, it’s only a matter of time before the woman realizes it and walks away.

Insecurity

The problem with wimps is they come across as very insecure, which is irritating. They just seem to hang around and cling a lot and that’s boring. These men are so passive that they don’t even realize the woman does not want to be with them. And when the woman does make the first move to tell them they’d better break up, these men act even more pathetic. A woman can never continue to be friends with them because then these men resort to emotionally blackmailing them.

This insecurity in wimps manifests itself as a desperate urge to be liked, and they do anything to get someone’s attention. It makes the woman doubt whether the guy really loves them or whether he is just trying to get her attention. Women generally get attracted to men who are self-confident, caring and pleasant.  Wimps have an inferiority complex and if they don’t like themselves, how can they care for someone else? Because of their tendency to cling, they even try to get the woman’s attention by buying her gifts. Even if they have romance on their mind, they don’t show it at the right time – and end up being an overdose when least wanted or too passive at the wrong moment. It’s their sheer tendency to hang around trying to bring up the courage to speak up that makes them such terrible dates.

Desperate to please

Wimps are always eager to please. They seldom care about themselves and tend to treat their women like goddesses, when all women want is to be treated like normal human beings. Wimps are afraid that when the woman is not with them, she might be drawn to some other guy. They seem very perverse in their thought process.

Insecure guys tend to be indecisive. When they are out on a date, they let the woman make all the decisions. This puts pressure on the woman. Worse still, the wimp will blame his date if something goes wrong. Also, these guys wont express themselves if they are bothered by something or tell the woman what they expect. They are afraid that they might be rejected in case the woman does not like what they say. They end up agreeing with everything the woman says and if the woman does not appreciate this behaviour, they complain.

Everyone likes a relationship where both partners have equal responsibility. Women are no different. The problem with the wimp is he is afraid he will lose the woman.

Wimps tend to pick on women with problems under the mistaken impression that they are doing them a great favour. They expect the woman to be grateful for this sort of ‘sacrifice’. Wimps tend to be more obsessed than involved, and that makes them awful dates. Insecurity and obsessiveness turn off women. They prefer men who believe in themselves and give them space.

Its all about how she sees you for the first ever time – and how she feels during those first few moments after you meet, will sent the tone for the rest of your relationship. So you’ll agree that it is very important to make a lasting and great first impression. Most guys are not even aware that they are making a positive impression, since they do it so effortlessly. There are guys who go through their daily routine without knowing that they are making an impression on someone. And women like to watch men who are not going all out to impress them; not consciously, anyway!

So if she’s been watching you at that coffee shop you visit regularly and tries to catch your eye so you can smile at each other, great! She doesn’t mind being approached. BUT – what if that doesn’t happen? Are there things you can do to ensure that you will make a great impression on the woman you want to meet? Sure there are. Lets consider them.

The preparation

Many times, you feel the urge to approach a particular woman because you are irresistibly drawn to her for some reason. And let me tell you, these things happen when you least expect them. So, make sure that what she sees makes a good impression on her. We are talking about your face. Make sure your face is clean – no crust around the eyes, no snot in the nose and no food stuck between your teeth. Does it sound unlikely? You’ll be surprised at how often you can be caught by a pair of beautiful eyes smiling at you when you are desperately trying to dislodge that lettuce stuck in your front teeth! NOT a nice thing. So, no matter how good looking you are, you will not appear attractive if you are not clean. Women can be quite finicky about these things, and there’s nothing wrong with that. I am sure you wouldn’t be that crazy to go out with someone who has unpleasant body odor!

Therefore, after you’ve ensured clean eyes, nose, teeth (and nails of course – your mother was not wrong) put on a natural smile (and dress nicely). Women respond to a smiling face just like anyone else. And smiles are quite infectious.

The approach

Here’s a secret: one of the best approaches when you meet a woman is saying ‘hello’. Seriously. Rather than saying something silly like how beautiful she is (as if she doesn’t know) start with a simple hello or hi. She’ll respond to that every time. Then be casual and ask her something about her self.  It could be something she’s doing right now – where you met her – or related to what she usually does. Then you can probably invite her to join you for a coffee or lunch, depending on how it goes. The good part about this is lunch does not take up as much time as dinner dates and seems more casual.

That’s the key – be casual without being overtly interested. Be confident. First impressions convey a lot to her and that’s what this is all about. 

You don’t really expect her to tell you everything do you? She doesn’t have to, you know. It is not as if men tell women everything. While honesty is usually the best policy, there are a few secrets you just can’t expect a woman to share with you.  

Sweet little lies

Invariably most women will tell you that whatever they bought for themselves cost less than what they really paid for it. It is because they really don’t want to waste time arguing about why they spent so much on it.

Women might appear to be more emotional than men, and you might think she’s looking for a commitment when you are not ready yet to make one – but the fact is that women are just as scared about commitment as men are. But once committed, they accept it and are happy about it, usually.  And while they are independent too, they love it when you are protective. They love all those little gestures of affection even when they come across as the tough, career-oriented types. The good news is, they also think about sex with their men.

It’s you she cares about

Don’t ever expect your woman to discuss her ex boyfriends and tell you they were lousy lovers. She won’t, simply because they were not! The important part is, they care for you.

Women hate it when you tell them they are like their mothers – they’ll never tell you that – because no matter how much they love their mothers, they do not want to become like them.  So, if you guys plan on making any reference to her mom, or even your mom, perish the thought right now!

This is something women will never admit – but they like it when you turn green, with envy. They like it that it bothers you when another man pays attention to them.  Of course, that doesn’t mean women like it when the men get over-possessive. As much as a woman loves her man, she has her fantasies too. That’s right, she likes to think about other guys. But rest assured that she’d probably never do anything about it.   

Women are far more comfortable sharing all their secrets with their women friends, they tell them things they’d never admit to you. But, here again, they draw the line at the important things like intimate details between the two of you. If you expect your woman to tell you you’re doing a great job around the house, in terms of sharing housework, forget it. It is because men tend to do only half the job. But women understand that, too.

And here’s one the guys are going to love – that is the fact that even though she loves you, she does feel a teeny bit sad that she’ll never feel that exciting romance of a new relationship again! So, guys, no matter how well you like to think you know your woman, she still has those little secrets she’ll never voice to you. It could be something about her family, some problem she had before she met you, or someone she was involved with – she just won’t tell you.

Obviously, when you enjoy every moment of a date, the relationship becomes fun and exciting. The more effort you put in to make them so, the more you’ll cherish the memories. In fact, one exciting date lays the foundation for the next one. Women enjoy dates that include fun, some intimacy and the excitement of discovery.

Start off with a plan. If your woman is an online date, one good way is to discuss it with her so that the two of you can put together some ideas that both will enjoy. There used to be a time when it was entirely up to the man to do all the planning, but not any more. It is quite all right to consult the woman about what she’d like to do – and with some compromise and a variety of choice, you’ll definitely come up with something that will make both of you want to see each other again!

Bringing in the thrill

Whether it’s the first time or subsequent dates, the classic coffee date always works. The sheer casual atmosphere of the coffee date is its whole charm. You are not under pressure, but at the same time, there’s the simmering attraction where both of you know you can reach out and touch any time. You can flirt, you can laugh over a lot of things, and generally develop closeness without the hassle of being obliged to do it. Unlike cozy dinner dates, neither of you are forced to anything that the other may or may not enjoy in terms of intimacy. You meet as equals and become comfortable in each other’s company, grow to trust each other and everything else will build on that.

Sporty type?

If she enjoys sports, it really can be great fun to go together and play pool, video arcades, etc. But avoid getting competitive with each other – remember you are trying to make your date fun and exciting – and that’s exactly what you should be having – fun. In this playful situation, with a lot of laughter, it is very easy for her to think about the next step – leading to something more intimate. Another exciting idea is to take her for ice-skating or hang gliding or hot-air ballooning. If she doesn’t know how you can always show her. This gives you a great adrenalin rush, as well as bringing you physically close together now, paving the way for physical intimacy later.

But whatever idea you dream up, just keep in mind that your goal is to build attraction and more dates.  Also, the focus must be on having a great time together. How about carrying a camera with you and clicking pictures of the wonderful time you have together? You can always suggest meeting up again to take a look at the pictures.

More than anything else, ensure that you don’t fake your personality when you meet her – it’s the worst thing for a woman not to be able to trust a guy. So – be natural, let her like you for who you are.

Online dating is not all that different from meeting offline, although it's the meeting in person that could well be the crucial factor in deciding what direction the relationship will take. Lots of couples click fantastically online but when they meet offline, it turns out to be totally disastrous. Online dating is a great way to meet other single people and the exciting part is to moving your online relationship to an offline one.

Ok, so you think you've met your soul mate through an online dating website. What next? You would really like to take it from the online meetings to a dinner for two. You've got to be prepared for anything though. It doesn't matter whether she lives in the same country or in another. Make it a point to build up enough confidence to talk over the telephone. It can really raise your comfort level - there's a big difference reading text versus listening to a live voice. Get to know her well, so that you are not tongue tied when you get together on that dinner date.

There's every chance she might think twice when you call her out for dinner - for all she knows, you might be a stalker who's out to get her blood. Or you could just be looking for a good time. So what do you do?

Here Are Some Tips

Honesty is really the best policy - be truthful. That need not mean that you should tell her every little detail about you, but do not lie about the details that you do disclose to her. Sincerity gets through very nicely to a woman and it forms the basis for trust. When you move ahead and the trust develops, it is easier to decide to meet for that offline dinner. Moreover, this makes both of you feel comfortable when you finally end up meeting since you didn't hide anything from her.

Go slow. Don't try to rush the relationship. This works in any relationship, but especially so in an online relationship. Try not to be monotonous. Don't make inane comments or remarks. She'll be quickly bored. Make sure you know what information her profile has, and ask relevant questions, while giving information about yourself as well. It will draw her out and encourage her to feel more confident about you.

One of the best ways to become compatible is by discussing common interests. This is how you probably met her in the first place - so get into the comfort groove. Don't show your anxiety of meeting her offline. If the two of you are really getting along fine, she might even be the one to suggest meeting up for dinner.

So, no matter how many emails, pictures or phone calls you have shared, you must be sure that she's open to the idea of meeting you offline, because you must not scare her away by suggesting it too soon. You can make her feel safer by meeting up in a public place first during the daytime for coffee, so that she is at ease. Once you have done that, make sure that you don't bore her to death - she must find you just as interesting offline as she did online.

Most men give women the impression that all they want is a physical relationship. In some instances this could be true. However, this can really put a woman off because it looks like he is expecting way too much too soon in the relationship. This is the best way to make the woman lose interest.

Now, the fact is, women do like a man who is quite casually friendly initially without revealing too much information about himself. There's something definitely interesting about not knowing what will come next, since it makes for a naturally spontaneous meeting. When he comes on too strong at times it can grate on the nerves of the woman.

The Approach

So how can he approach her? The classic coffee date never fails. The best way is, when he meets her, tells her that he finds her interesting and would like to get to know her better, and would she like to go out for a casual coffee. This is such an innocuous suggestion that she wont think of saying no. The reason is, she feels nice about his attention and sees no harm in having coffee in a public place. She's curious to know what comes next.

It definitely doesn't look like he's coming on to her for a relationship, since he didn't ask her out for dinner. Since there's an element of mystery about what sort of person he might turn out to be, she will be ready to meet him for that cup of coffee. The happy part is there don't seem any expectations in the relationship at this point, hence there's no tension associated with it.

Of course, that's not to say a casual coffee date wont lead to something more. But let me tell you, every thing else being mutually okay, he can be pretty sure that she wont find the 'something more' unwelcome. Moreover, the man must not attempt to kiss her or make any physical contact after the coffee date, unless she invites it.

The best part about a coffee date is that she will be relaxed and open to conversation. This sort of comfort, being together will definitely put her at ease in his company. If anything more is to develop in this relationship, a coffee date is the best starting point. Even if the guy feels strongly attracted to her, it is worth it to exercise control. Then it becomes that much easier to ask her if you can meet up again, maybe for a movie or a dinner date. If the two of them had a good time, she might be the one to suggest that they meet again.

Usually, a casual coffee date paves the way for a meaningful relationship, since there is the opportunity to spend time together. Women have a tendency to be a little slow when it concerns getting involved, unlike most men. So, the best thing for him to do is to match her pace. She'll be okay with having a coffee with him even if she's dating someone else. Point is, when things are easy and comfortable it is better to let them flow naturally.

A lot of men have a problem with asking a normal woman out on a date, for fear that she'll refuse - but asking a shy girl out on a date? Depending on the guy, it could be easy or need some work.

All the information available about dating is usually to do with attractive women who can handle most men - but what about shy women? Lets get one thing clear here, from the start: don't assume she is not interested in men. That said, if you look around, you will realize that there are a lot of women out there who are smart, look great, but are shy. It could be that they have just been brought up that way. All you have to do is to make a door in that wall, and step in.

The first thing NOT to do is appear very overbearing to her. Instead, show her that you are a little vulnerable too and concentrate on striking up a good conversation. The date comes later. Try to understand her world, and draw her out, let her know you appreciate her.  You might well be surprised to find that she might probably share the same interests as you and once you get talking about that, there's a good chance she might get animated and open up.

See, you've got to remember that just because she's shy, most guys might have probably ignored her - and it might just be a matter of getting her to talk! Have coffee with her, be casual, and come across as a friend and let her see the person you really are. If she likes what she sees, chances are very good she will say yes when you ask her out on a date.

Before you do that, understand what makes her shy. Is she shy only when there are people around or when you are alone? Does she hesitate to talk about her personal life? Once you determine what makes her shy, you can help her out of it.

Drawing her out

She needs time to get talking, so be patient. You must have had a chance to understand her a little by now, so try to get along with the side of her that you know. Perhaps she has a good sense of humour hidden under her shyness. Let her know you enjoy it. Reassure in different ways that she's attractive to you without actually putting it in so many words. Praise her about her abilities and talents - and this will increase her comfort level.

Listening to her is one of the best ways to draw her out. And when we say listen, we mean listen, not just hear. Everyone is passionate about something, and find out what her love is. It is always easier to become comfortable talking about a hobby or interest instead of a conversation that involves personal information. She'll like the fact that you are an attentive listener, since it will reassure her that you genuinely care about what she has to say.  And once you have reached that comfort level, just ask her out on a date. She'll say yes.

It can be a big surprise and a huge shock when you realise that your girlfriend has been cheating on you. Most guys are caught completely by surprise when they discover that their partner is involved in an extramarital affair. When guys are aware that their relationship is not satisfying, in trouble or if they can admit they suspect infidelity, the reality that their partner was cheating is usually too much to bear.

The thought of a girlfriend cheating can be painful and depressing, so most will overlook obvious signs of cheating. Once infidelity is recognised, nearly all people experience anger at their ignorance in not recognising the possible signs of a unfaithful partner.

When your relationship is not as strong as it has been in the past, and you do not feel your girlfriend values you as much as she once did, you should make the 10 signs of a cheating girlfriend familiar to you.

• She does not tell you all about her day and she seems more distant and closed off.

• Your girlfriend has a sudden renewed interest in her appearance such as new and different clothing, hairstyle or weightless.

• She starts to take up new interested that are out of character for her.

• Your girlfriend changes her schedule. She may start earlier, end later or have new requirements such as dinners and late meetings.

• She closes program windows on the computer as soon as your are near.

• Your girlfriend starts to leave the room to take calls from her cellphone.

• She starts to use or changes her use of perfume.

• Your girlfriend starts a new habit of showering when she comes home.

• She has recently become more argumentative or critical and has no obvious cause such as financial, work or her health.

• Your girlfriend provides abnormally vague reasons for being late.

• She becomes evasive when you ask about her where she was and what she did during the day.

Just one of these signs alone may be no cause for alarm, but more than 3 in a short period of time may indicate that she could be involved in an extramarital affair. This just means you should share any concerns with your partner and talk about what the relationship may be lacking. Relationships that are healthy, strong and satisfying will not be at risk from infidelity.

When guys first get into online dating they seem to all make the same mistakes. If you are not having much success with dating online then you will be making the same mistakes as other guys. Here are a few tips to help you have more success.

Keep your profile a suitable length

Do not have your profile too short. You need to say something about yourself to get the girls interested. They need to have something to talk to you about.

On the flip side, make sure that your profile is not too long; You are not trying to write a novel. Make sure you leave some parts out. You need some aspect of your life to stay mysterious.

Use flattering pictures that are accurate and up to date

Try not to use photos of when you were younger, or of someone else. Just use pictures that make you look your best but are not giving people the wrong idea. If you do not want to put pictures up, say why. Lying about pictures from the beginning is not a good look.

Keep your profile accurate

Make sure that your profile is correct and accurate. There is nothing that puts off a girl more than a guy who knows nothing about his favourite hobby.

Do not expect all the girls to reply

For every girl on a dating site, there are more than 5 guys. This means that some girls will just be too busy to reply to you. Do not take it personally and just move on.

Record conversation details

Keep notes on the conversations you have online. Girls tend to take it personally when you forget their birthday or they get a bad impression when you talk about the same item twice. Brief notes will just give you something to refer to when you are unsure.

Stay local

Try to avoid contacting girls that are more than a short drive away. Give the local girls a chance first as they are easier to meet offline.

Don't be dirty

Do not send rude pictures that show parts of you strangers do not want to see. Rude photos and messages will mean you have no chance.

Online dating does not work for everyone

People are different and different things will work for them. Make sure that you also try out other ways of meeting girls. Also, if you are looking for the type of girl who would rather be out doing something than be on the computer, you will not find her with online dating.

Get offline

Try to meet up with her offline as soon as possible. The longer you leave it the less likely you are to meet. Remember that people can be quite different when you meet them in person.

Be decisive

Girls like a guy who can make decisions and organise things. Make sure you have a time and place in mind before you raise the idea of meeting. Make a slight allowance for rescheduling, but do not let the girl push you around or keep putting it off.

Do not expect too much

Do not get your expectations too high on the first date when you have met online. You need to appear relaxed and calm.

Forget your dating past

Do not discuss any past partners or lack of partners as no good can come from it.

Have fun

Make sure you have fun. The most common attribute that girls look for in a guy is that they are fun.

Do not be afraid to stop replying for a while

If a girl is not responding, move on. When a girl starts to act weird or demanding, move on. If a girl does not turn up to a date, move on.

Do not be afraid to move on and stop replying. Sometimes it can be the best thing that you can do. Once a girl realises that she can lose her only chance with you, she will take more care and might reply.

Become the guy the girls want but can not have NOT the guy anybody can have but no one wants.

Through out our life, our memory is very important. It helps us with everything thing from where we parked the car to remembering those all important exam answers. Even for simple things like social interaction, we need our memory; Without it we can not even remember a persons name. Our success or failure can be determined by our memory.

If our memory is so important, is there a way to increase our memory? The association method can be used to greatly improve a persons memory. It involves finding something easier to remember that will help us recall the information we want. For example, if you think of the word “bed”, what do you remember? The very first thought that came to your mind was because of association.

Through out our lives we make associations between memories. When one memory is recalled, the associated memory will be very easy to recall. The problem is that we do not use these associations very well and when we do remember the associated memories, they are often not the memories that we wanted. The association method is about improving the associations so that we can recall the information that we desire.

There are many ways that associations can be strengthened:

• Through having fun or playing games,

• Visualising and using your creative imagination,

• Associating though actions (Have the first item doing something to the second item),

• Add emotions such as anger, fear or love,

• Keeping things simple (only focus on connecting 2 things at a time),

• Exaggerating things until they are bizarre and ridiculous,

• Practice your recall to strengthen the association.

The best way to show how this is done is with an example. For the purpose of this example we are going to try and remember the following items in sequence.

1. Aeroplane

2. Tree

3. Roses

By this time you will already have some associations building up in your mind. The problem is that trees are not easy to associate with aeroplanes. An example that could be used to associate these is a low flying aeroplane striking the the tops of trees. The aeroplane can then have an emergency landing in a field of roses.

The above example is a short chain of visual associations. It is bizarre and connects each item with an emotional connection. All you need to do now is remember the plane and you should remember the tree and the roses.

The association method can also be used to remember someone's name when you see their face. Just take their name and break it up. Try to associate something that you know to each part of the name. Now take the association you have and apply it to the most noticeable feature of their face.

One of the main factors in having success in what we do is creativity. It does not matter if we are creating a work of art, organising a date with a girlfriend or submitting a business proposal. Our success relies on our creativity.

I have in the past failed to realise just how much difference creativity can make. It can affect every decision we make throughout our lives. Creativity is not just used when thinking up new products, it is used everywhere. For example, in a business creativity can be used in every department:

Marketing

Thinking up new and creative marketing strategies

Accounting

Implementing creative cost cutting strategies that will allow products to have a lower price

Human Resources

Finding new and creative methods to find the most talented candidates for a job.

With creativity playing such an important role in everything we do, how can we encourage our creativity?

Having an idea

The best way to have new ideas is to stop thinking the same way and think outside the square. To do this we need to change what information our brain has to work with. New information equals new ideas.

So the question is now: How do we give our brain new information to help inspire new ideas?

Try something new

Trying something new lets our brain get out of its regular thought pattern. Something as simple as taking a different route to work can help us think about new things.

Change your surroundings

New ideas need new inspiration, and by changing our surroundings we get new things to inspire us. The new sights and new sounds are both key aspects in inspiring new ideas.

Try hiking up a mountain or taking a notebook to a park and sit by the duck pond. Even something very different like sitting on a roof can help inspire a writer or artist.

Change your schedule

If you always try to think up new ideas at the same time each day, you may find yourself coming up with the same results. Before lunch your ideas will be more food related and at the end of work your ideas will be more travel or home related.

Become a comedian

Comedians have a different way to see things. They twist the way they see things to such an extent that the outcome is ironic or implausible. Try to train your mind to look at things from the comedian's view point.

Assumption Challenging

While we are trying to think up new ideas to solve a problem we tend to forget that we have made some assumptions about what we need. By writing down and challenging these assumptions we can allow ourselves to consider the widest range of possible solutions. An example is a store looking to get more customers into the store. They need to stop and think "Does the store really need more customers?".

Random Presentation

Random Presentation is the act of trying to associate two unrelated items. While traveling to work or waiting for something pick items at random. Ask yourself how each item could be connected or applied to your current problem. A helicopter overhead might make you think about a way to track where the car goes when you loan it to your kids. A palm tree may lead to a new design for patio umbrellas.

When an idea strikes

When you do have an idea, you want to make sure that you do not lose it. The only way to do this is to write it down. Keep an idea journal where you can keep all of your ideas for later. Writing down the ideas is part of the creativity process. When you write an idea down you do not have to remember it and instead the subconscious part of your brain can work on improving the idea. You will find that once you write down one idea, suddenly you will have more ideas.

There are many body language signals that can make a significant difference to your success with girls:

• The way you walk

• The way you stand

• Your gestures

There is one body language signal that is most important when picking up girls and leaving a lasting impression. It is one of the first things that people notice and the one they will remember the most. It is your smile.

The amazing thing about a smile is the large effect it can make. A normal guy can suddenly become likeable by putting on a smile. Mr normal guy can also become sexier just by smiling. As an example, just try to think of the last time you saw a model without a smile.

The idea that a smile can win over a heart is not new. It is commonly practised and performed by actors, politicians and even the smooth talking salesman who talked you into your last big purchase.

A smile improves your chances with girls by telling them "I am happy, being around me will make you happy". A smile is the biggest girl magnet.